Andy had a good day yesterday, after they told us that he was not going to have surgery yesterday, he felt pretty okay about it, we knew it was the right thing to do so we just went back home. We had a long long nap and he got to spend more time with the kids. He kept David up until 10 pm playing video games and this morning he got up and play with Mia and he let her put some make up on him haha... Its like if Mia knew what was going on, she kept hugging him and kissing him all morning, right before we left we took some pictures ..
We left the house and we went over to David's school to say hi to him, Andy wanted to give him a dollar so he could buy an Ice at the school, David didn't know we were going so he was pretty excited when he saw Andy. We took some more pictures there.
I remember that afternoon when we found out that Andy had cancer, the oncologist told us, surgery is a possibility, and here we are, waiting for him while he is in surgery...
I am not sure what to feel or what to think, millions of things are going around in my head, I am feeling a little afraid, a little nervous, a little sad, well not a little, a lot, I am trying to tell myself that he is going to be okay that this is just one more step on our journey but seriously, who wouldn't be sad while knowing that they are opening your husband and messing around with his heart...who can be okay knowing that they will cut a part of his lungs, I know that a lot of people in the world do this, but Andy, my Andy...
I need to trust what I was promised. I need to remember that he is going to be okay but right now all I feel is scared, afraid.
Like I told him, I feel so sorry that he has to do this, I love him so so much that I wish it was me the one that was on that table right now, I love him with all of my heart and I couldn't let go of his hand, I think I was holding his hand for the past 2 hours I didn't want to let it go I just want to see him and tell him how much I love him..
Andy and me had such a hard time right before we got married, some of you don't know but Andy did his mission in Mexico and that's where we met, so when he was done with his mission, we saw each other in Salt Lake City, Utah, and the very first day that we saw each other, right then, at the very first time that we were able to sit next to each other, he looked at my eyes and asked me if I wanted to get married to him, and right that moment, without thinking, I told him yes, what were we thinking - who knows, but we felt that it was the right thing to do, he told me, I have been praying about it and I had my answer, I want to spend the eternity with you and all he had was a CTR ring with him and that's all we needed, we hadn't even had our first kiss right at that point but we didn't need to kiss, we didn't need a ring, we knew that we were meant for each other and that's how everything started.. It took us a year to get married and it was such a hard year, for different reasons but a lot of people didn't want us to get married and now I understand why, I mean what a crazy idea, get married with someone that you don't know? True love like Ana from frozen said, but it can really happen, it happened to me , and Andy was so strong with his decision, he always knew that he wanted to get married to me and he didn't care about comments or disappointment he decided to fight strong and get married to me, and after a year we did, we got married and I can tell you that it was the easiest decision that we have ever made... We have been so happy together, we are the kind of couple that can't be apart from each other, we are always laughing together, watching our crazy TV shows together, we love to spend time with each other, and I am so grateful to have him with me, he really is such a good guy...
Last Sunday at church they were talking about trials, they were saying trials are here for a reason, is not just that Heavenly Father wants to make you sad or wants you to suffer, trials have a purpose and one of them is to teach you what you were suppose to learn here on earth, trials are here to make you complete, to make you stronger, to make you smarter, to make you kind but the most important here, trials are here with the promise that if you are strong and live them you will be back with our Heavenly Father one day...
I am here living the hardest trial in my life, I am not sure if I already learned what I was suppose to learn, I am not sure if I still have more to learn about this trial but I know that I want to be with my Heavenly Father one day, and if I had to live this trial again I would happily do it all over again..
I also know what I already learned from this trial, I learned that life is so short, you can't be wasting your life in things that aren't really important, don't worry about your job, about your financial situation, don't worry about what car you want or where are you going to go on vacations, worry about how close you are with Heavenly Father, worry about how much your family is important to you, worry about loving your husband and tell him and thank him for everything that he does for you and your kids, thank him and give him the importance that he deserves, don't spend your time making him worry about things that are not really important, as long as you have him there with you and healthy, truly there is nothing else that matters, enjoy the time with your kids, love them, teach them hug them, once again, life is so short and so crazy and you never know what trial is about to come to your door, love love love so when this trial comes, you are ready for it, you are strong for it and you have no regrets..
That's one of the things that I learned from Andy, I kept asking him, is there anything that you want to do before surgery? Is anything that you want to eat, somewhere you want to go, something, and he always said, Leyla, nothing, all I want is to be with you and the kids, there is nothing else that I want to do, there is no other important thing for me other than that
So I feel like I should be done writing for right now, maybe I will write 20 posts today but all I want to say is that please please don't wait until a trial comes to your life to actually live life
we love to spend time with each other, and I am so grateful to have him with me, he really is such a good guy...
Last Sunday at church they were talking about trials, they were saying trials are here for a reason, it's not just that Heavenly Father wants to make you sad or wants you to suffer, trials have a purpose and one of them is to teach you what you were suppose to learn here on earth, trials are here to make you complete, to make you stronger, to make you smarter, to make you kind but the most important here, trials are here with the promise that if you are strong and live them you will be back with our Heavenly Father one day...
I am here living the hardest trial in my life, I am not sure if I already learned what I was suppose to learn, I am not sure if I still have more to learn about this trial but I know that I want to be with my Heavenly Father one day, and if I had to live this trial again I would happily do it all over again..
I also know what I already learned from this trial, I learned that life is so short, you can't be wasting your life in things that aren't really important, don't worry about your job, about your financial situation, don't worry about what car you want or where are you going to go on vacations, worry about how close you are with Heavenly Father, worry about how much your family is important to you, worry about loving your husband and tell him and thank t him for everything that he does for you and your kids, thank him and give him the importance that he deserves, don't spend your time making him worry about things that are not really important, as long as you have him there with you and healthy, truly there is nothing else that matters, enjoy the time with your kids, love them, teach them hug them, once again, life is so short and so crazy and you never know what trial is about to come to your door, love love love so when this trial comes, you are ready for it, you are strong for it and you have no regrets..
That's one of the things that I learned from Andy, I kept asking him, is there anything that you want to do before surgery? Is anything that you want to eat, somewhere you want to go, something, and he always said, Leyla, nothing, all I want is to be with you and the kids, there is nothing else that I want to do, there is no other important thing for me other than that
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