A Child's Prayer

I WROTE THIS 2 DAYS AGO...
Today is our last day of Andy´s chemotherapy of this cycle.  After this we have to get a shot, some labs, and finally a doctor's appointment.  We will know the day of the appointment if the cancer has spread to his brain. We are praying hard and we can’t wait to know.

I had a rough weekend.  My wonderful parents left and went back to Mexico.  They were here for two weeks and they helped us so, so much with everything.  I feel so blessed to have them in our lives.  They totally took the roll as the parents for our kids.  They took David to school, Mia to the park, played with them, and everything else. They also helped us a lot financially, and I can’t thank them enough for all of their help.  My kids miss them so much, too!  I always take my mom to the airport, but this time I couldn't.  But, I am sure they know how much I love them and miss them.

Even though it was a bad weekend, it was an amazing weekend.  We felt the love of so many people that I can't explain it with words.  This cancer thing has not taken anything away from us, on the other hand, it has given us a lot.

 

One of my friends from our church put together a garage sale.  She organized everything last minute.  Tons of people donated items for the sale and also donated baked goodies. Tons of people from our church helped her the day of the sale.  It was huge!  They had a sign with our family picture on it, and Andy´s story, it was amazing. All of our friends stopped by and helped, too.  Stacey Reed, another friend, told me that people got there saying I want a cookie, and paid with a 20 dollar bill and donated the change.  Other people just went and donated money.

That day we had to get Andy's MRI, so on our way home, Andy said he wanted to stop by the sale.  What an amazing experience!  I was in the car still, and my tears kept coming down.  It was such a great moment!  My tears were not sad tears, I was so happy, and so grateful with Heavenly Father.  He answered my prayers when he told me that he was going to provide the way for us to be okay, and I trust him.

Andy didn't get down out of the car, but I know my guy.  And, even though he does not cry like me, I know he felt the same way as I did.  We love you guys!  We are so thankful for everything that you are doing for us and we can´t wait to be back on our feet and give back to you!  I know we will.

One more thing that happened to me.  I got home from the cancer center and two big baskets were by my doorstep.  My kids were so excited because they saw that the basket had chocolate and candy.  But it had more than that. I used to work at Boulder Creek Elementary School, I was a teacher's AID for the Amaneceur preschool.  I worked there just about two months, and I loved it.  I love those kids and I miss them already.  So, the teachers put together this basket, they sent me gift cards, they gave me books to read while I am here with Andy, lotion, sleepers, candy, chocolate, magazines and more.  But one of my favorite ones was a little book that my preschool kids made for me.  They colored pictures and made me a little book.  Isn't that so sweet?!  It brought tears to my eyes.  That’s right, I cry a lot! LOL!  Someone said one day in a Relief Society class, that crying is a talent.  Not everyone can cry like this, so I must be very talented! LOL!

My friend Rickelle put together a donation page, and people have been donating money.  We are so overwhelmed with our friends and family response.  Also, people that we don’t know have helped and donated money, especially tons of photographers.

And another awesome thing is, David has the best  kindergarten teacher ever.  She has become a good friend of mine.  It was thanks to her that I got that job at the preschool.  She is such a sweet person and we love her! She just put together a charity lunch.  She got a restaurant to donate food, and she is organizing everything.  This lunch will be at our neighborhood park, and she is going to be selling the tickets, so make sure to contact her to get yours.  I am excited, it is going to be fun… *Liz Valenzuela 480-2020643

I also went to church this Sunday.  It was the fist time in almost 8 years that I went to church without Andy and 2 kids.  I admire my friend Suzanne that does this every Sunday, I really didn't have a chance to catch that much this Sunday, but one of the things that made me feel the spirit so strong was when my friend’s daughter and husband sang a hymn called, a  Child's Prayer. Autumn’s dad is in the ICU, we became good friends but we can’t really see each other since she is in the hospital with her dad and I am at the Cancer center with Andy.  But we get to text each other every day and she has helped our family a lot, too.  Anyway, when Natalie her daughter sang that song it went straight to my heart…

Heavenly Father are you really there?

And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?


Some say that heaven is far away,


But I feel it close around me as I pray.

Heavenly Father, I remember now


Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:


"Suffer the children to come to me."


Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.



Pray, he is there;


Speak, he is list'ning.


You are his child;


His love now surrounds you.


He hears your prayer;


He loves the children.


Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.

People ask me what are you guys going to do, what’s the plan, are you selling the house? And the answer is I DON’T KNOW! I  am living one day at the time.  Everyday I fix one thing, another day I pay others, and another day things just happen and bless our lives.  So, I don’t know what are we going to do, I just know that everything is going to be okay, and I am sure of that.

PET Scans and Results...

Another day in on this journey...

Well, yesterday Andy had a PET scan and we got the results yesterday.  They told us that the cancer spread to his lymph nodes.  But, we are staying positive.  We are grateful that we have faith that this treatment will get rid of the rest of the things that they found.  I know that it will be this way.

We had such a bad night last night.  Andy couldn't sleep at all because he had nausea all night long.  He didn't vomit but he was just so sick. It is sad to see my boy this way, but I keep thinking and telling him, "this is a good sign, you're tired, you have  nausea, you are losing hair and everything.  It's an answer that Heavenly Father is giving us to tell us that your body is getting rid of that crazy tumor."

Like I said, we are living day by day.  Andy is fighting at 100%.  Yesterday, after we got home, he wanted to sit with us at the dinner table to be with the kids.  He said that he had been by himself for too long, having been isolated for 8 hours after the PET scan, so he just wanted to be with the kids. My parents brought us, Frozen, the movie, so Mia has been singing and dancing to Frozen 24/7.  She is such a good little dancer and singer. She totally loves this movie and every time she hears the song, Let It Go, she screams, "Mom!  Let's dance, Let's dance!"  And then, I saw Andy dancing around with Mia doing everything that he can to make his girl happy.

I am so proud of him.  I admire him.  I look at him and I think, how can a person be so positive and happy like he is?   And the only answer is that he is so close to our Heavenly Father.  I see him kneeling and praying all of the time.

We are so grateful with everyones help, donations, garage sales, bake sales, food from our church, help from our church family, phone calls, texts and everything.  We never expected to get so much love from everyone. Andy told me, "as soon as I get better I am going to live my life to serve others day and night", and I agree with him. As soon as we get back on our feet we want to give people back everything that everyone is doing for us.  

He also showed me this song, and of course I cry and cry every time I hear it.

 
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8

I love Andy so much.  I still remember the day we met.  I was clueless about what was going to happen.  But, after a long time, Andy told me how he felt.  For those that don't know how we met, we met in Mexico at the Costco store.  Andy told me that it sounds cheesy, but he really knew at the very first minute that he wanted to get married to me. He said, "I was sure I met you before we came to earth, and I made you a promise that I was going to come here and find you.  And, once that I found you, I was not going to let you go.  After that, we saw each other once, really just once.

 After the first day, we dated, and he asked me to get married with him.  Crazy, isn't it? And I said yes, and I am so glad I did.  I just felt we were made for each other. Andy has taught me so many things but the must important one is to love the gospel.
I love him so much. 

 

My thoughts at this time...

Few weeks ago we got some shocking news.  We found out that Andy has a tumor.  What made it worse is that we found out right before Christmas...

We were not expecting this news, everything was so fast and so crazy that I still cannot believe it...

After we found out that he has this tumor, we got him an appointment with a thoracic pulmonary surgeon. They did tons of tests and they sent him to get a biopsy.

Before his biopsy, we had a trip planed to the Polar Express, in Williams, AZ.  We didn't tell the kids, everything was a surprise. They didn't know anything.  At this point, they also didn't know about Andy.

I didn't want to go.  I was so worried and sad that I didn't think that it was a good idea.  Well, Andy insisted and we so we went. I am so glad we did, it was the best 24 hours that a family could possibly have.

We went all the way to Williams singing Christmas songs, laughing and enjoying every second. I remember when we got onto the train that I was just trying to be happy, until Andy asked me if I could please just enjoy it. When I turned around, I saw Andy standing up and dancing in the middle of that train to the song Jingle Bell Rock. LOL.  How could I not enjoy that?!

Andy is so positive about this whole situation.  He amazes me, and I admire his courage and his strength to do what he is doing, and to do it while being so positive.

On the day of the biopsy, they had to poke him twice because they couldn't get in.  After he awoke from the surgery he saw me and he said, "Can I have a cheeseburger please?" (LOL again)!
They couldn't find conclusive results with the biopsy so they sent us right away to an oncologist..
This was last Friday, just a few days ago.  Of course, we were a little prepared since they had sent us to an oncologist, but who can really be fully ready for news like this...

Andy was diagnosed with germ of cell cancer.  This is an extremely weird type of cancer.  It is highly uncommon.  The doctor said that we needed to start chemotherapy on Monday and that he was going to cure him.  The doctor was so nice and so open.  He was also very clear with us.  He said is going to be a long process but he will be okay...

He made us a plan and a schedule for battling this cancer.  He said we would undergo very aggressive chemotherapy.  It is seriously crazy!  He needs chemotherapy for 5 days, 7 to 8 hours a day.  Afterward, he will have a  2 week break and then we are required to do it all over again. After this he will have a 6 week break and we will do all the testing all over again.  Finally, he will have surgery if the tumor decided to shrink. Once the surgery is completed, we will possibly have to do more chemotherapy or radiation.  We haven't gotten to that point yet, we are just living day by day.


So we didn't start on Monday, we actually started yesterday, Tuesday January 6th...

As I was talking to one of my best friends, Emily Sanchez, she told me something that changed the way I was thinking about everything. She told me, that "sometimes people are confused, sometimes they don´t know what their mission in life is. They don´t know what to study or what to do with their lives.  What a blessing you and Andy have that you know exactly what you are here for." And, she is right.  We were suppose to come to earth, and live this trial.  We are so grateful for this opportunity to get closer to our Heavenly father and to our family and friends. Emily also told me, if you fall, you get up.  If you fall, you get up again. And, this is the way I am living my life right now.


Of course, I am sad.  Of course, I keep falling.  Sometimes I fall when I feel afraid or disappointed, but I get up every time..

The last thing she said that made me cry and still makes me cry is, "if you feel alone, if you need someone, remember Heavenly Father is there with you.  Not just on your left side but he is also on your right side, so open your arms and let him carry you..."

I can't even explain how much I feel my Savior next to me, I feel Him every single second.  I am so blessed and grateful for this.

Andy was amazing on his first day of chemotherapy.  He was watching movies, listening to music and just resting. He has never complained, not even once, he just keeps smiling and making jokes...

While he was asleep I went ant talked to some of the patients here.  I met this lady that yesterday was her last day of chemo after months and months of treatment.  After she lost her 2 breasts, she was so excited and so happy.  They gave her a diploma and she rang the bell that they have here.  People ring it when they are done.  Every single nurse came and clapped and cheered for her, she was so happy.  Andy said, "that will be me soon..."

After that, I sat with a mom of a 19 year old.  This young girl has lymphoma, and she will start treatment on Monday.  She was telling me that she knows 5 moms with kids that have cancer.  And today I met a lady from Mexico that also survived and is almost clear.  With all this I just can think about my kids, I just want to go home and hug them and tell them how much I love them.

I had to tell David what was going on.  He just said, its okay.  I told him daddy is really sick, that he has a big owie in his chest and he will have to go to the doctor a lot, but by your birthday he will be okay. On Sunday we had to drop off our dog at a friend's house.  Megan and her husband graciously took our huge dog until Andy is feeling better.  I thought Mia was going to have a hard time, but I never imagined that David was going to react like he had.  On our way to Andy´s parents house I looked back in our car and I saw my David crying and crying.  When I asked him what was wrong he started screaming, "I want Harley, I miss him already!  Why mom?  Why?"  Of course, I  couldn't help but cry.  I cried a lot with him too. I told him that his is temporary. We will have Harley back.  I promised him that his daddy will be okay by his birthday.  I promised that Harley will be back by then.

My poor kids are having such a hard time with all of this.  Mia is acting up almost every day.  She colored with  a permanent marker all over my Iphone.  She bit the trampoline and broke the net and pole.  She colored all over her room, walls and door.  She has been waking up every single hour after Andy had had the biopsy.  My kids don´t understand what's going on.  Thankfully, my mom and dad came to help us and they have been amazing with my kids.

If I had one message, I think my message would be to please live life like if you were in this situation. Sometimes we take life for granted.  We just live life because that's we are supposed to do.  We forget and don't appreciate the blessings that our Heavenly Father has given us.  Go and hug your husband and tell him how much you love him.  Tell him thank you for everything that he does for you.  Tell him thank you for being a great dad, a good friend, a good husband.  Never waste a minute concerning the things that are not important.

I remember myself, not too long ago, always being worried about the way I look.  I remember I never wore the same outfit to church for 4 years, and I was always so worried about that.  Appearance, money and stuff like that.  With this, I realize that nothing, seriously nothing, is more important to our Heavenly father than family.

Today Andy is doing pretty good again, he is tired but he is so positive and he is fighting at 100% capacity.
My friend opened a fundraiser for our family since our financial situation is crazy right now.  So, I appreciate your help.  I can't wait to be okay and have my husband healthy and to be okay so that we can give back.


Leyla Moss