DAYS BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER SECOND TRANSPLANT

DAY -3
Today is the last day of chemo!! Yes, we are done. He had his last one around noon and we are done, we have faith that this is it, this is the last chemo that Andy will need. In total he had 36 days of chemo (counting the first time).
36 days of chemo!!! Can you imagine? Poor Andy. I feel so sad that he has to do this again but we are done and ready for the next step.
He had an okay night, he got some sleep here and there, but this morning his nausea got bad and he was throwing up blood again... At least I am not freaking out this time since I know that he will be okay...
He got up and we went for a small walk after his nausea was better. We got to talk a little bit and he showered, that is an improvement! He still hasn'tt been able to eat or drink anything but once again, at least we know that this will be over soon and from now on all he has to do is heal and recover...

He will rest tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and then January 1st he will start his brand new year with a second bone marrow transplant.
We will spend New Year here at the hospital, but I am actually okay with that.
The hours here go slow and I have too much time to think and to remember. I was talking with Andy today about our kids, (I hope you never get tired of me talking about my kids, they mean everything for me). I miss them so, so much, we get to talk to them on Facetime or Skype every single night and I think this has been so good for Andy, to have something there every day to remind him why he needs to keep fighting.
My little Mia is so cute, she was telling my sister yesterday that her dad is still fighting, that he is in the hospital because he fell playing soccer but he was getting better and better... its funny how she thinks that his Cancer is thanks to his fall playing soccer... Thinking about that, I want to find one day that guy that made Andy fall down at that soccer game and thank him. Thanks to that fall we found out how bad things were getting so quickly, once again, in my mind there are no coincidences any more, everything in this earth happens for a reason and I am glad that we were there at that game. Of course breaks my heart that my innocent 3 year old tells Andy, See daddy? You cant play soccer anymore!

Day -2, -1 were hard too, same thing, chemo side effects and sleepless nights

Day 0.. I twas transplant day! I was so excited for this day, I kept thinking this is it, this is the moment that we have been waiting for, second bone marrow transplant, closer to be done... It amazes me all the improvements and all the amazing things that medicine has, they bring the frozen steam cells, I think they bring them at -96 °C ( -321 °F)!! They use ultra-cold of liquid nitrogen for preserve them and they have a specials container where they bring them and it is so cool to watch them defrost them. Andy got 4 little bags of steam cells and he did amazing...

After his transplant, the hardest days were about to come, since his immune system is gone during this week, everything its just harder and harder. He got sick, tons of nausea and vomiting and it was just hard, but honestly I still thinking that this second time was "easier" than last time


I can´t believe we are almost going home!!!!!!!!!! I miss my kids and I am so excited to go back!

DAy 2 and 3... That's when I lost it, I had such a hard time and finally lost it, I felt so sad and not strong at all, I pretty much cried all weekend, everything made me sad and It was just a dark place to be for those two days...

My friend told me one thing that made me realize that feeling down and sad its part of the process, she said... What you are feeling right know its called experiencing life and having emotion, without feeling those things you would never experience the opposite side to those emotions, the happy side... And she is so right, I think that moments like this are the ones that make me stronger, I think that moments like this is when you learn and understand why this happen, why you need to be strong, why happiness is happiness and why you need to keep fighting.

But I do believe that feelings like those don´t come from Heavenly Father.. I can tell you how much I felt the enemy in the past two days, he knows how good I have been doing, he knows how I have been taking things and how much I have been praying, he knows how strong I have been, how things have been bad but perfect at the same time, he knows how much people have been praying for us and how much the spirit has been next to me, but he also knew that I had that moment of weakness and every time I was crying for the past two days I literally felt how happy he was that I was like that... It wasn't until last night after posting that, after talking with some friends, after watching this video that my brother sent me and getting on my knees, it wasn´t until after that that all those bad feelings left...

Monday I woke up with a different view of things, I woke up understanding that its okay to not be okay, that those moments when you are down are necessary to grow, its okay as soon as you decide to get up again and start fresh and ready to keep fighting
I do feel a little stupid for been so week and for making it public, but o well, I hope that after this experience you all can remember that we are all humans, that we all have ups and downs but the best and most important part is how we decide to leave those feelings behind and keep on with the fight...

Day 4, 5,6 and 7 haven been different, Andy´s nausea slowed down a little because they gave him some steroids, but his heart rate started slowing down, at first I was worried and freaking out a little, but then after all this tests, EKG and all the doctors coming and check on him I feel okay, they think its just thanks to medications and since he doesn't´t have any other symptoms they are not too worried about it...

Day 8 will be getting more rest and then day 9... Ooh day 9... I am so excited for day 9, he will get this shot called neupogen, this shot makes his white cells reproduce a little faster and once that his white cells start reproducing his immune system will start getting better...

We are getting closer and closer to be okay, after we are done here they think Andy will probably still need another surgery, but we are not sure yet...
I can not believe how far we have gotten!

Day 9 to 12 Were the hardest days of all of them, dark days, long days. I truly don´t even want to remember them, he was so sick, so tired, so out of it, couldn´t keep anything down, heart rate went crazy, I had a breakdown during those days, I am sure he doesn´t remember those days and I think its a good thing because they were truly crazy!

Day 14
I didn't´t write in the past few days because it wasn´t that much going on.. They have been trying to take all the IV meds and give him pills instead so he can be ready to go home... So today was a good day, well we started with some vomiting still but after that things got better, he was able to get those pills down (finally) and keep them down too! He ate, we went for a walk, he has been awake most of the day and we are just SO ready to go home and get out of here...

 Today I met this amazing couple, I have always see them since he had a transplant and they are two rooms next to us.. We were talking about our situations and I felt such a connection with them, I am not happy that more people has to deal with Cancer but it sure feels good t know that we are not alone... As I was talking to his wife he said something that touched my heart... He said, God sent us wives like you and my wife because he knew that we were going to need you, this is so hard and we couldn't´t do it without our wives... I wanted to cry, I am so happy that Heavenly Father sent me here to be with Andy, this has been such a hard road but I am so happy to be here with him...

After we go home, we still have to come here who knows how many times, so they can check him and all those fun stuff... Then after 2 or 3 weeks he will have another PET scan and we will find out when he will be having his surgery...