Transplant and second chemo... transplante y segunda ronda de quimios

I wrote the first part of this post few days ago and the rest is from yesterday!

WOW! I don't even know where to start with this post... First I want to say thank you so much to everyone that has been praying for Andy and for our family. You have no idea how much your prayers mean to us and how much we can feel your love and compassion... It has been several hard and overwhelming days with so much information and in such a short period of time... Andy didn't start chemotherapy like he was going to this past Monday because our oncologist wanted him to keep his appointment with this new oncologist that is in charge of Andy’s transplant. That appointment was this Wednesday so we had to hold chemo for few days. So we had this appointment with this new doctor and men, I can't even type without getting stressed about all the information that we just got.

So Andy is going to have a bone marrow transplant here pretty soon right after this chemo that we will start on Saturday... Before the transplant they needed to do all this testing and all this exams to get him ready for his transplant. We have spent the last two days at the mayo clinic. He had several doctors’ appointments yesterday, and today he had eight! That's right, eight appointments today and a bone marrow biopsy!! And then tomorrow morning he will be admitted at the same hospital as last time for the next chemo.

For his transplant, Andy won’t need a donor. The way they explained it to us was like “pretend you have a jar of olives and pretend the olives are your cells, if the olives are infected then you need a donor, but if the olives are not infected with cancer but the juice is, then you can use your same olives (cells) to fix you”. So that's why Andy, thank goodness, won’t need a donor and they will be able to use his own cells... The doctor explained the process to us, first they collect his cells, then he needs chemo again and then the transplant. The doctor told us that this new chemo that he is going to have is as if he was having the past 6 chemo that he has had, but in one!!!! Can you imagine?? 6 chemos in one?! This chemo is that bad and that strong. Right after he has this chemo, they do the transplant and then he will have to stay in the hospital another two weeks. The total of time at the mayo clinic will be about 4 weeks!! 

So after this chemo at the Banner hospital we will get transfered right away to the Mayo clinic. We will be sleeping in a house that they will give us there, for a week or two and then after this he will get admitted for this crazy strong chemo and then his transplant. He won’t be able to go home for about 2 months total. They told us that the day of his transplant will be his new birthday! And that will be the day after Thanksgiving! Andy always said he never had his own birthday after our son David was born because they share the same birthday. Haha, so his wish came true and now he will have his very own birthday again... JK, but we are so excited and happy about him being able to start this new life...

The transplant process has been so fast and so perfect. Everything is going great and we have been able to get everything done and ready in just two days and that is a huge blessing.. I am worried about my kids and about how long this process will be, but have to keep thinking that they have a lot of people that love them and that they are going to be okay... My awesome/fun/loving dad left today. He went back to Mexico and I miss him already. He helped so so much with everything! But at the same time I am so incredible excited because my brother Johnny is coming this Sunday!!! I haven't seen my brother in almost four years! He is so funny and fun that my kids will absolutely love being with him... After that my wonderful mom will come to stay with them for a month during the transplant. And of course my best friend and sister and her husband Ben are always right here making sure my kids are okay and helping with whatever they need...so we have a lot of help with my sweet kids.

Speaking of help, I really don't want to leave anyone out, because we have had so much help and love from everyone, but today I want to mention two very important and amazing people in my kids life... First David´s first grade teacher, Miss Arroyo, she has done so so much for my David! She is keeping him every day after school to help him with his homework, she takes him to his baseball practices, she takes him to fun places, she takes him to the park, to wherever he needs to be, she has been just incredible! I am so blessed to have her; she is always willing to help my boy. Another amazing teacher is Miss Lisa, Mia’s preschool teacher. She is also always keeping Mia, taking her back home after school, picking her up for school, taking her to her field trips, and more... so today take a minute to thank your kids teachers because I don't know what would I do without my kids teachers!!! Such a blessing...

Well, I didn't finish this post until today (Sunday), and today is day two of chemo. I just didn't have any time before now to finish this post... Like I said, it’s surprising Andy is doing amazing this time! I know it is just day two, but last chemo at this time he wasn't doing that good. He has been laughing and talking with his family that came to visit from Utah... 

We had an amazing time with them! This morning we started talking about how Andy and I met and about our crazy year while we dated before we got married! I felt so touched about what Andy said about me, about us, I almost wanted to cry thinking of how much we love each other, I bet you are tired of me saying this but our love is something special, something that keeps us strong specially in situations like this one...

One of the things that touched me was when Andy said... I knew from day one that I wanted to spend the eternity with Leyla I was always sure about that and nothing was going to change that.. I feel the same way ... Nothing and no one will be able to keep us apart .. Look at this picture when we were dating and when we got married ! So fun...

I know I talk about how positive and optimistic Andy is, but it truly amazes me! That’s why I always talk about it. He has such a good spirit, he is fighting and he smiles about everything. He makes jokes about his cancer, about his hair, about everything! It is just contagious, if you see him, well of course you can tell he has cancer because of his hair and how skinny he looks (he’s lost 25lbs already), but if you would see how happy he is you would never be able to tell how much he has been through .. You’d never know how much pain he is in, or how nauseous he is, he is just happy, making me smile and asking me to get into his bed so we can watch our tv shows.. I just love him so so much, he is amazing!

Today I am so excited, my brother is coming from Mexico tomorrow! I haven't seen him in such a long time. He truly is my best friend, he is so fun and handsome, funny and silly, loving and just the best brother ever! After that my mom will come for a month to stay and help with my kids during the transplant. Did you notice what a supportive loving family I have? They are just the best I love them so so much ... Andy has always been their favorite, since the minute they met him almost 10 years ago, they just loved him with no questions and he is still the favorite. I joke around that they love him more than they love me! Haha.

Yesterday something special happened to me... I went home because Andy’s awesome aunt Marianne slept here with him. As I was walking to the elevator I saw a lady that was crying and crying non-stop. As she saw me she started walking away trying to just not let anyone see her crying. I had this prompting in my heart and I knew I was going to look silly or like a crazy person but I started walking behind her and finally I caught up and stopped her and gave her a hug. I said “I am so sorry. I don't know you, but I recognize your tears because you look exactly how I have looked for the past months.” And she hugged me and cried even more, she told me her husband was really sick, had cancer and he just had a stroke... She started telling me how she doesn´t have anyone and how tired she was and how sad she was because she didn't believe in God... I started crying with her and I told her, “I hope you don't think I am trying to convert you, I promise is not why I am telling you this, but I am LDS and I can tell you that I have a huge army of prayers and support in my church. They help us with absolutely anything that we need, they care for us, they love us and thanks to my church I am standing and holding up. I love my Heavenly Father, I have a testimony that He is listening to my prayers, I can tell you that I feel Him right here, right now with you and He loves you too, He cares for you, I swear He does and I will keep you in my prayers.” She couldn't stop crying and say “Thank you! You know? This is what I needed to hear, this is what I have been asking for, for a guide, for an answer of what church I should go to.” We gave each other another hug and she left. I didn't catch her name and she didn't catch mine, but the spirit in those 15 minutes was so strong... I am so so grateful for my testimony, for the knowledge and confirmation that God is real, that He truly loves me, that He is helping us out on every single step of the way... I have no idea what I would do without Heavenly Father, my family, my church family, friends and all the support that we have!!!

This has been such a hard road, in every single way, hard for Andy, hard for me, for my kids, for my family, but I know all of this will be behind us soon... Thanks again for all those prayers, keep them coming!

EN ESPAÑOL...

Bueno pues no habia tenido tiempo de escribir y menos de traducir todo pero por fin he tenido unn poco de tiempo en lo que estoy sentada en el hospital, de ante mano mil disculpas si la gramatica no es buena o si ven errores pero casi casi asi como lo escriba asi lo dejare jaja

Pues la semana pasada tuvimos una semana muy ocupada, nos dijeron q seria definitivo que andy tendra dos transplantes de medula osea, esto ayudara a que el cancer no regrese nunca jamas! asi es que el pasado jueves y viernes nos la pasamos en el hospital todo el santo dia haciendo pruebas, tuvo como en total unas 16 citas de diferentes tipos de doctores, le hicieron estuios de todo tipo, dentistas, del corazon, otorrinos, de verdad estudios de cada parte de su cuerpo para asegurarse que es un buen candidato para su transplante...

De ahi nos transfirieron al hospital para que iniciara la segunda ronda de quimioterapias y aqui estamos desde el sabado,...

sorprendentemente andy ha estado super bien, no se ha enfermado tanto, si tiene ascos y se siente muy cansado, pero nada que ver con la vez pasada, todo va como debe de ser y hoy es el dia tres y va muy biien, nos faltan otros dos dias y saliendo de aqui os vamos enseguida al otro hospital el especializado en transplantes para iniciar el proceso y todo lo que tenemos que hacer antes del transplante

Realmente la positividad de andy me impresiona, lo deberian de ver, a las risas, bien a,able, platicando con todo el mundo, sonriendo y dispuesto a luchar y a acabar con todo esto

LEs quiero agradecer a todos por sus oraciones y por su apoyo, los queremos mucho!!

Hoy estoy re que te emocionada por que mi hermano Johnny llega a ayudarme con los niños y con lo que se pueda ofrecer! tiene años que no lo veo y estoy sumanente feliz de poder verlo y abraarlo, realmente tengo una familia increible que me ha apoyado a cada segundo en esta dificil batalla

los quiero!

leyla

LONG DAYS

LONG DAYS

We have been at the hospital for 11 days... 11 days? I had to go to the calendar to count the days because I’ve already lost track of them...

Andy is doing better today. By better I mean he is stable. Not good but not worse, so I guess that's a good thing...

A few days ago the doctors found out that he is neutropenic. This means his white cells are very low, at 2.1 when the normal in a healthy body is 1000-1500. We have white cells and red cells on our bodies and the white cells are the ones that make your immune system work. When your white cells are so low, you have high risk to catch ANY kind of infection and if you do catch something most likely your body wont be able to fight the infection...

Well, I don't even remember the day, but Andy got an infection, we are not sure what kind. They did tests and everything but they still can't figure out what kind of infection he has. He had a 104 fever and he wasn't doing so good, his heart rate was SO high. They put some antibiotics on his port and finally his fever is getting better, today it’s just 99.9. Not that high but still not normal so they did more tests today and hopefully they know what to do.

Two nights ago he had a bad night. My mother in law says he always had dreams and would talk like crazy in his sleep when he was sick. That night was more than dreams, he was awake his eyes were open and he was hallucinating. He kept trying to get things that were not there and kept telling me to stop the table that was moving and things like that. It was pretty scary, at least scary for me because I have never seen him like that. It was more than just dreams, they think is because of all the drugs that he is getting...

Today he seems better. His fever still there but is low, his white cells are the same but at least he has woken up a few times (the past days he was asleep all day long)... Last time he was awake today, he asked me to call the kids so they finally got to see him not asleep, he talked to them and the kids were pretty excited...

He still hasn't eaten anything in 7 days now. Nothing, no solids, but at least now he can drink water and hasn’t thrown up all day today. So that's why I say he seems better today...

It has been some rough days, I have slept in the hospital every single night for 10 nights!! I have been here all day (except for the hour or two that I leave to shower and see the kids) and days have been long, stressful and boring... Yesterday was a hard hard day for me, I felt so emotional, everything was making me cry, I was missing my kids so much. Last night my in laws came back, they were gone for 5 days. They went to their stake camp. Everyone left his sisters, brothers and everyone else. I honestly felt so lonely and desperate. I think not sleeping good was making me go crazy, so last night they came back... And I had to ask my father in law to stay with Andy during the night, I just couldn't do it anymore. I left and went to sleep at our house after 10 long nights... The kids came home too, and we went to bed together. They were so excited to be back home for at least one day...

I couldn't sleep in my bed so I ended up sleeping with David on his bunk bed.. But I slept SO good. It is amazing how much rest you can get in just one night of good sleep! And especially how much my kids enjoyed being at home... We went to church also, well just for an hour but I needed to be there so bad.

I felt the spirit so strong this morning. I felt what I needed to feel to come back to the hospital with a new and recharged soul... In our church, once a month we fast and pray and that same Sunday we have something called testimony meeting. Everyone there at sacrament who feels and wants to share their testimony can go and share it. I am not a big fan of it because of my accent, especially because every time that I share it I cry... so you can imagine a Mexican accent mix with a crying sobbing accent. Haha, but I felt like I needed to do it...

I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember the feeling that I had, and I still have. I saw all of those faces of my church family looking at me and crying with me. I felt their love and support. I felt the arms of my Heavenly Father reminding me that he is here for me. I just need to calm down and listen to the still small voice. I remember the face of my kids and the hug that they gave me when I was done sharing my testimony. David told me, “Mom we know you love us don't worry about that!” And that friends, is all I need to remember. (I found this old pictire of one of our visits to Mexico)

Today is a better day. Maybe things are almost the same, but it is a better day because we are here, we are alive, we are fighting and we are getting rid of this cancer...

Let me tell you, this cancer is not only in Andy’s body... this cancer is in my soul and heart too. This cancer has been trying to bring me down, it has been trying to kill me too, it has been trying to make me feel like I wont make it, but this cancer doesn't know that I have something stronger than him. I have the love of my Heavenly Father... if this cancer just knew how powerful my Heavenly Father is, he would run away from us, but we are going to show and prove that we are stronger than cancer..

I am so grateful for the knowledge that prayers can be answered. I have spent a long time on my knees. I know that every single one of you are praying for us. I know people in Utah, Canada, Mexico, California, Ohio, Arizona and all over the place are praying for us, and I have a testimony that Heavenly Father is listening to all of these prayers! I just need to be calm and still so I can listen to His answers...

I know I have said this several times already and you all know it, but I love Andy so so much! He is a wonderful person, probably what it hurts me the most is to remember what an amazing 4 months after remission we had... We became even better friends, we stayed up late watching our shows, we talked and talked more than ever before, we laughed and enjoy every single day together, we went on dates, we danced, we sang like crazies in the car, we had our "dance parties" with our kids, we just enjoyed every single minute that we had... 

It’s sad that sometimes trials have to happen in your life in order to appreciate the small things, but that's what has happened to us. After cancer came into our lives, we had to stop and realize what are the important things in this life... God and family... Seriously nothing else matters, absolutely nothing... I also already said this here in this blog, but if you are having a hard time with your family, with work, financial problems, love, heath, or whatever... Take a minute to sit down and stop, let those worries go away and enjoy! Enjoy what you have enjoy every single second of it. Don't wait for a trial to come to realize how lucky you are, to realize how much you have... it took a trail for me to realize that I was wasting my time worrying about stupid things that don’t matter any more. I was wasting my time not loving one hundred percent, not enjoying the air, enjoying laughter, enjoying a hug, simply singing a song with my husband. Don't waste your time, because sometimes that time never comes back

I miss my Andy so much. I am so glad we had those 4 amazing, incredible months to love each other so much! I am so glad that we got those 4 months to make our kids happy. I am so glad that we got those 4 months so he could recover and get even stronger to fight this second time...

Today I am happy, I feel joy, I feel love, I feel blessed... Yesterday was bad, today's good and tomorrow who knows... all I know is that today is a great day and its all I care about.

Ps if you are planing in running/walking in Andy's race here is the info

Here is the link to send to everyone to register for the walk.. Registration is open

https://runsignup.com/Race/AZ/Mesa/AndysRun

Also the sweet Rachael Fort is having a Pampered chef party this week and some porcebtage of her sales will go to our family

Last thing thanks so so much to his amazing co workers! They had a fundraiser event, it was just amazing We are so lucky and blessed thanks Hotchalk for what you are doing for us we are so grateful ... 

Thanks everyone!!

DIAS LARGOS

Nuevmenteno voy a traducir exactamente lo que escribi en ingles porque de aqui a que lo escribi y traduzco todo ya se enfrio  mi chocolatito jaja..
Hemos pasado ya once dias en el hospital, once dias?? tuve que ver mic alendario para contar cauntos dias llevamos aqui!han sido dias largos y pesados  y dias muy emocionales para mi...
Andy sigue mal pero no peor y creo que eso es un avance, sus celulas blancas siguen bajas, lo que quiere decir que su sistema inmunologico esta como quien dice no esta mas bien no existe y puede agarrar cualquier tipo de infeccion, desde respiratoria hasta intestinal, y bueno esto paso, hace dos dias le dio  una infeccion, aunno sabemos de que, aun siguen haciendole pruebas para poder encontrar que es lo que tiene
pero dijo que esta mejor porque ya no ha vomitado desde ayer en la manana, ha estado casi dormido todo el tiempo pero hoy se paro y hablo con los ninos por skype, y bueno no se ve mejor pero no peor y pues eso es una bendicion
Yo estoy super super cansada, no he dormido en mi camita desde hace 10 dias, me la he pasado aqui con el dia y noche, bueno de repente me voy unas dos horas a ver a mis hijos, casi los he idoa ver diario, pero practicamente me la he pasado aqui dia y noche, hasta anoche que mis suegros regresaron de un campamento que se fueron y le pedi ami suegro que se quedara a dormir con andy por q de verdad ya no aguantaba mas, por fin pude dormir! claro no dormi en mi camita por q senti feo dormir ahi y no tneer a andy a mi lado asi es que acabe en la litera de David jaja, pero dormi tan bien!
Es increible lo que una buena noche de dormir te puede ayudar
Hoy desperte con diferente mentalidad, viendo lsa cosas de una manera mas positiva... fui a la iglesia y eso me ayud o mucho, enn uestra iglesia , mormona como le llaman, cada cuatro domingos tenemos algo que se le llama domingo de testimonios, es super padre este domingo, las personas que sientan el espiritu y tengan las ganas de pasar a hablar en el microfono enfrente de toodos pueden pasar, y yo pase, la verdad casi no me gusta pasar porque aun tengo un acentobien mexicanote y luego casi casi que siempre paso me pongo a chillar ya saben igualita que  mi mama, o mis tias paez, jaja, pero pase, senti la necesidad de pasar y dar mi testimonio, realmente no me acuerdo exactamente lo que dije, pero me acuerdo de lo que senti, me acuerdo de ver las caras de los miembros de la iglesia llorando conmigo, meacuerdo del amor y e apoyo  que senti, me cuerdo del abrazo que mi david me dio y  me dijo, mami no te preocupes por nosotros, sabemos que nos qiueres mucho y estamos bien note preocupes...

Sinceramente extrano mucho a Andy, estaba acordandome de que momento tan padres pasamos despues de que nos enteramos que ya no tenia Cancer este Mayo pasado, realmente nos convertimos amigos, mejores amigos, mucho mas que antes, complices, nos reimos, bailamos, cantamos, nos la pasabamos cantando como locos en el carro, salimos al cine, a comer, a citas, jugamos, reimos, nos abrazamos, simplemente disfrutamos cada segundo... es triste darse cuenta que a veces tienen que pasarte pruebas en la vida para que aprendas a apreciar las cosas que tienes, y eso me paso a mi, este cancer tuvo que pasarle a Andy para que yo aprendiera a valorar la voda, a valorar el aire, a valorar las flores, las risas, la compania amor y amistad de Andy,...

Ya se que ya lo he dicho varias veces aqui en este blog, pero de verdad, no desaproveches el tiempo preocupandote por cosas que no son importantes, dinero, amor, trabajo, realmente esas cosas no importan, al final lo unico importante es dios y tu familia, aprovecha cada segundo que tengas  para disfrutar de esas dos cosas, porque cuando menos te lo esperas es demasiado tarde... asi es que disfruta, vive, goza, ama lo mas que puedas por que el tiempo nunca regresa y las memorias que construyes, el amor y dios siempre estaran ahi...

Hoy estoy agradecida con dios y con la vida por esos 4 meses de absoluta felicidad que tuve conandy y mis hijos, fueron como un sueno, estoy agradecida con dios por haberme dado una segunda oportunidad de corregir mis errores y aprender a amar plenamente, sin prejuicios, celos o control, de aprender a amar asic mo Dios me ama a mi... estoy agradecida porque andy tuvo 4 meses para recuperarse, para comer bien, para hacer ejercicio, para disfrutar a sus hijos para poder continuar luchando contra este cancer, este cancer que no tiene idea de lo que esta haciendo

Este cancer se vino a meter en el lugar equivocado, este cancer es fuerte, es  malo, es venenoso, pero no sabe que yo tengo almo mas poderoso que el y eso es mi Padre Celestial, el no me ha abandonado, siento su amor, siento sus brazos y su calor, tengo fe, tengo mucha fe y no me queda nada mas que recordar esos 4 maravillosos meses que pase con andy y mis hijos y tenerlos como un recuerdo de algo que pronto volvera a pasar

Gracias a todos por sus oraciones
Los quiero mucho!!!
Ahh sii y perdon por las faltas de ortografia, nunca fui buena para la gramatica y ahora menos que casi no escribo en espanol
gracias y sigan pidiendo por mi andy

Few bad nights and almost done with chemo... Malas noches pero ya Casi acaba Ronda UNO

.

Well what can I say? This was to be expected and we are not surprised, but even though we knew things were going to be this way it’s still pretty hard ...

Saturday night was one of the worst nights that I ever remember since Andy was diagnosed the first time... It was rough. Chronic hiccups and nausea, stomach pain, shakes, sweating, just a bad, bad night... They tried everything and nothing helped... Finally at the end they tried one kind of medication that I told them it helped Andy last time. That along with a blessing that Andy got from his dad made him feel a little better and finally he was able to sleep... But it was rough, I felt helpless. There was nothing that I was able to do to make him feel better... 

His sister Nicole was here too, supporting and helping me because things were just out of control. 

Then yesterday was a better night ... Still rough and lots nausea but better... 

Today he pretty much slept all day long, he finally got some good rest and sept until about 4pm ... The only problem now is that he hasn't eat in 3 days, nothing. They just told us today that probably we are going to have to stay another day until he eats... If he doesn't eat then they want to do a feeding tube... Hopefully we can keep some good down... He is really trying but he just can't keep anything in...

The nurses here are so nice. We had the same nurse for 3 nights and she came last night and gave me a hug and told me, “Thanks for your support and for being here. He needs you and having you here means a lot for him, even when he is just asleep it really makes a difference.”

It hasn't been easy being here for almost 5 days. I don't have a laptop for work so I can't really work here editing pictures, I haven't really seen my kids, I look like a zombie and I hate the hospital food, to be honest being here is pretty awful but I am trying to make the best of it.. 

I am so grateful for my sister, she is amazing, my kids (even though they miss us) they are having an amazing time with her. She is like their second mom and she is great with them but man... I miss my kids so much...

So after chemo we have to take Andy to get this shot that helps to reproduce more white blood cells. When you get chemo your white cells get low and this makes it so you don't have an immune system. That is not good because you can catch an infection pretty easily, need blood transfusions, etc...

This shot is pretty awful, he used to get it last time and it makes you feel like you have the flu and some labor pain on your back... But it helps, so we will get this on Wednesday.

Then we see the oncologist Thursday and then we have an appointment with the doctor at the Mayo clinic ...

Busy week... I haven't put make up on for almost 5 days... What??? Me?? Haha, I have no earrings and I am wearing sandals all of the time, pajama pants. If you know me you know what this means ha ... But we are almost there for cycle one... 

(I love this pic we took it right before coming to the hospital  )

Watching the LDS conference this weekend was such a great blessing, it felt like most of the talks were for me...! But one of my favorite ones was the one from 

Elder Klebingat:

"Accept trials, setbacks and surprises as part of your mortal experience." When trials come, the adversary will tell you that you did something wrong, that this is a punishment, that Heavenly Father doesn't love you, he said. "Ignore that!"

Elder Klebingat said, "Acknowledge and face your weaknesses, but don't be immobilized by them, because some of them will be your companions until you depart this earth life."

And I did, I accepted this trial, there is nothing else I can do other than live it and enjoy it. That's right I have to enjoy it because otherwise I would be mad, sad and crying all day long. I think I finally accepted His plan. It's crazy that it took me this long but it did ... Like Elder Klebingat said, I am here smiling at this trial and looking up thankful for the opportunity to grow and learn more...

I am not perfect, of course, I am human. I still cry every time I go see my kids and leave them, I still cry when I go home and shower, and I still cry when I see my Andy in all this awful pain and symptoms, but I am okay... I know we will be okay...

Not to brag about myself (okay just a little) but I have always been a strong soul, since I was little my parents used to leave me in charge of the house instead of my older brother. I used to have little businesses, selling candy or toys at the door of my mom’s office. I remember at elementary school when the teacher said please bring this map tomorrow or something from the library I used to buy few extras because I knew someone was going to forget and I used to sell the things double the price! Haha... I have always been so independent. I traveled a lot with my dad in Mexico, I survived college living by myself, I always had amazing grades at school, I self-taught several things. I remember when my parents were getting divorced I saw their transformation after getting baptized in the LDS church, and I decided to get baptized too... I finished college in Mexico... I managed coming to another country (here) to get married with Andy not speaking any English, not being able to drive or work and not having any family or friends here. Andy lost his job when I was pregnant. I had a small tumor on my left shoulder, I also had 7 little tumors in my thyroid and they had to remove it 3 years ago. I had a miscarriage also. I think all of this was nothing else but Heavenly Father getting me ready for this trial. Isn't He amazing? Isn't He awesome? He knew!! He perfectly knew I was going to need all that knowledge and all that led straight to being able to face this trial and fight hard and learn at the same time... 

Today I am grateful for today. 

Things will be back to normal soon.

I know they will.

Last thing my friend organized this run/walk for Andy. November 15th for more info you can email me so I can give you her info leylamosa@hotmail.com

Thanks 

ESPANOL....

Pues de nuevo no haré la traducción exacta de todo pero tratare de explicar lo mismo...

Hemos tenido muy malas noches, los síntomas de las quimioterapias son más fuertes que nunca

Andy ha tenido mucho hipo es uno de los efectos y gracias al hipo le da mucho asco y le duele mucho el estómago pero todo estaba dicho que así sería, ya sabíamos que así iban a estar las cosas de pesadas pero de todas formas es difícil pasar por todo...

La noche del sabado fue horrible, nada podía calmar sus ascos, yo creo que desde que nos enteramos desde la primera vez, jamás había tenido una noche tan fea, realmente horrible verlo así en tanto sufrimiento y sentirme incapaz de ayudarlo de sentirme inútil sin poder hacer nada por el ...

Su hermana y su papas tuvieron que venir a ayudarme porque las cosas se pusieron muuy pesadas y por fin como a las 2 de la mañana todo se calmó

La noche de anoche también fue pesada pero no tanto como la anterior, nada más se paraba cada dos horas con ascos y le daban medicina y se volvía a dormir

Hoy literalmente durmió todo el día, sin fuerza de nada, y no ha comido en tres días seguidos

Se supone que ya nos íbamos a r a la casa mañana pero como están las cosas dicen q sí no come no nos pueden dejar ir...

Así es que a ver que pasa... 

Llevo cinco días sin pintarme ando en pijamas y desarreglada por q realmente y los que me conoces saben que no soy así, pero no es estoy triste no deprimida sólo cansada de las largas noches

No soy perfecta pero le estoy echando todas las ganas del mundo,  tengo una actitud positiva, no he renegado y tengo mucha mucha fe de q todo estará bien y de que venceremos esto.

No por ser presumida (bueno tantito jaaj) pero Desde chiquita me acuerdo que siempre he dicho fuerte y luchadora...cuando mis papas tenían que salir de la ciudad me dejaban a mi encargada de mis hermanos en vez de johny mi hermano mayor por que yo era la responsable jaja. Siempre me encantaba hacer negocio con todo, me acuerdo que de chiquita puse un "negocio" en la puerta del consultorio de mi mama tenía yo como 6 años jaja vendía yo dulces y juguetes para los reyes magos... En la primaria siempre me llevaba yo mapas extras o cosas de la papelería para cuando loa maestros encargaba sabía yo que siempre habría un despistado que se le olvidaría jaaj, siempre tuve buenas calificaciones, becas, viajé mucho con mi papa, me titule , tuve un tumor en el hombro, 7 tumores en mi tiroide, perdí a un bebe durante un embarazo, Andy lo despidieron cuando yo estaba embarazada, me case con un americano y decidí venir a un país donde no conocía a nadie ni hablaba el idioma sin familia ni amigos .. Y más... Y todo esto ahora lo veo y pienso,... Dios sabía!!! El sabía perfectamente que esto con Andy iba a pasar y desde niña me dio la bendición de irme preparando poco a poco! Que bendición tan grande haber podido aprender todas esas enseñanzas para poder ahora enfrentar esto

Nos yo perfecta! Aún chillo cuando manejo sola, cuando voy a ver. A mis hijos y me tengo que despedir de ellos, aún chilló cuando voy a mi casa. A bañarme y la veo vacía, aún lloro cuando veo a Andy tirado en esta cama conociendo que fuerte es. Pero tengo fe, la fe mueve montañas y yo la tengo y se que nuestro padre celestial me ama y todo esto acabara algún día

Todo pasara!

Update on Andy...Saturday Oct 4th

Well like most of you know, we had an appointment with Andy's oncologist this last Thursday. He talked to us and said he wanted to send us to the hospital that same afternoon and have him admitted that same day... We talked to him to see if we could wait until the next morning just to make arrangements for the kids and get things ready and the doctor said yes.

We came here to Banner Desert Thursday morning, Andy had a procedure and they put a port on him to make things easier (last time at the hospital they poked him 15 times in less than 2 hours because his veins were gone!)

After the port they started the pre meds for chemo and that night at 2 am. Yes 2am they started the first kind of chemo.. He had this chemo going for 24 hours! Then this morning at 5 am they started the second type of chemo. This one is just for half an hour but 3 times today and then at 2 am a new kind...

They are hitting this cancer hard! The doctor said that today and especially tomorrow his nausea is going to be really bad... We are just grateful that we are here and not at home where he always used to get dehydrated from all this nausea stuff ...

 

As I was looking at quotes after the Lds conference today I saw this one and it describes Andy #ldsconf

He is being such a trooper. I was texting one of my dearest friends yesterday and I was telling her... If you see Andy you will cry.. He has such a good spirit so far, he is so positive and happy... He has been listening to comedian shows, watching funny movies and playing loud music in his room... The nurses said they love to come to his room because he has good music. 

I am not sure if I would be the same if it was me in that bed, but he is definitely teaching me that even in the darkest moments you can always make a difference if you decide to be positive and have faith.

We are amazed and grateful with all the love from everyone ... We have been getting blessings on daily basis... People doing things without even knowing us, people from Andy's work just getting together and supporting Andy, cards, texts, calls, and especially people telling me we are praying for you.. Kids coming to me and say we are praying for Andy... And more

Yesterday the HOA had an event at the neighborhood park... And Jessie Brown had this sweet idea of having this table for donaciones for our family... This brought tears to my eyes just to see how much people care for us... My kids had a great time and I love that they are getting the opportunity to see how much you can serve and help one another...

Speaking of my kids ... Ohh my kids.. My poor babies I miss them so much... My sister Jona and my brother in law Ben are such a blessing, they are watching my kids and I will never be able to thank them enough... Mia talked to Andy on the phone and asked him.. “Why are you so sick daddy? I am sorry that that owie from soccer hasn't get any better.” Poor princess she loves her daddy so much... And David ... David, David he is such a sweet boy, yesterday when I saw him he told me he wanted to come home and started crying... I know how hard this is for my kids but I also know that they can see how amazing their dad is. 

I feel so much better this week, my faith is back ... Not sure if you can say you lost your faith when you got it back? But last week a darkness took over my heart and it felt like faith was not even close .... But today, today is different, after praying and praying and after several blessings I feel okay, I am okay, I have faith in my heavenly father’s plan... I know he loves me. I know he is aware of my feelings and my fears. I know that he doesn't want anything bad for me and Andy, I know that he will help us during this difficult time, I have seen his hand on daily basis, I have felt his love through all the people, and I am here ready for this war.

That's what my friend was telling me... Leyla this is a war. What do soldiers do during a war? They fight, they fight, they fight ... They do whatever they have to do to survive, and especially they never give up... This is a war for us and we will do whatever we have to do to survive and we will never give up .

Andy will be having chemo until Tuesday and if things go well, he will be going home Tuesday or Wednesday.. He will rest for a few days and then we will be back at the hospital for cycle 2 of chemo and then we will go to the MAYO clinic for his transplant ... 

I will keep everyone updated

Thank you and please keep praying for him!

#fundraiser

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-the-moss-family/241998

ESPANOL

Bueno no haré la traducción exacta porque no tengo mucho tiempo pee tratare de recordar que escribí. El miércoles tuvimos una cita con el oncólogo de Abdy y ese mismo día nos dijo que quería que fuéramos al hospital y que ese mismo diablo internarán para sus quimios... Nosotros le pedimos que si nos daba tantito de tiempo para que pudiéramos ir a la casa y arreglar todo  y las cosas de los niños pues estaríamos una semana en el hospital. Dijo que si, entonces el jueves en la mañana lo internaron y le hicieron una pequeña operación que se llama port, en México no existe, lo que pasa es que con tantas quimioterapias y tratamientos que recibió Andy sus venas desaparecieron se desgastaron las últimas veces que lo estaban poniendo intravenosa a i saca su sangre le tenían que picar mínimo unas quince veces hasta poder encontrarle la vena... Esta operación lo que fue es que le pusieron un aparato parecido a un marcapasos ... Este aparato tiene como una m guerita que va directo a la yugular y esa ma guerita esparciera todas las quimios directo a las venas más importantes, ahora lo que pasa es q las enfermeras o doctores no tienen q ponerle nada en las venas solo en ese cuadrito le pican sobre la piel y todo el medicamento va a la yugular .. Bueno ya le pusieron esa cosa y lo iniciaron con los medicamentos para prepararlo por doce horas y de ahí esa noche bueno esa mañana a las dos de la mañana le iniciaron la quimioterapia, estuvo conectado a la quimio por 24 horas y le fue muy bien... De ahí luego luego lo conectaron al segundo tipo de quimios esa es más corta media hora cada una y es cada cuatro horas 3 veces creo, pasando esa hoy otra ve bueno mañana a las 2 am le pondrán otro tipo de quimios y de ahí no se qué más...

Si vieran a Andy les darían ganas de llorar pero no por lo enfermo que se vea o por q sientan feo sino por el espíritu y el  estado de ánimo que tiene, es increíble verlo así, yo me imagino q si fuera yo la que estuviera en esa caña yo estaría a la depresión a lo que da, pero Andy es un campeón es un guerrero, se la ha pasado viendo puros programas de comedianta y películas de risa y siempre tiene su música a todo volumen, de verdad lo admiro y amo verlo tan positivo me ayuda a aprender que en los momentos más sociales de tu vida hay que sonreír...

Sigan pidiendo por el, gracias familia 

Fundraiser link ...donaciones

A lot of you texted me and called me yesterday asking about the link of the fundraiser...specially friends of Andy (from work and High school)

My friend Rickelle opened this for us and this is the link

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-the-moss-family/241998

Para la gente de Mexico q quiera aportar, mandenme un correo a leylamoss@hotmail.com para pasarles la informacion o mandenme un mensaje al Facebook gracias!

*Picture by Jessica Downey Photo
*Leyla's hair by Tasha Scott