.
Well what can I say? This was to be expected and we are not surprised, but even though we knew things were going to be this way it’s still pretty hard ...
Saturday night was one of the worst nights that I ever remember since Andy was diagnosed the first time... It was rough. Chronic hiccups and nausea, stomach pain, shakes, sweating, just a bad, bad night... They tried everything and nothing helped... Finally at the end they tried one kind of medication that I told them it helped Andy last time. That along with a blessing that Andy got from his dad made him feel a little better and finally he was able to sleep... But it was rough, I felt helpless. There was nothing that I was able to do to make him feel better...
His sister Nicole was here too, supporting and helping me because things were just out of control.
Then yesterday was a better night ... Still rough and lots nausea but better...
Today he pretty much slept all day long, he finally got some good rest and sept until about 4pm ... The only problem now is that he hasn't eat in 3 days, nothing. They just told us today that probably we are going to have to stay another day until he eats... If he doesn't eat then they want to do a feeding tube... Hopefully we can keep some good down... He is really trying but he just can't keep anything in...
The nurses here are so nice. We had the same nurse for 3 nights and she came last night and gave me a hug and told me, “Thanks for your support and for being here. He needs you and having you here means a lot for him, even when he is just asleep it really makes a difference.”
It hasn't been easy being here for almost 5 days. I don't have a laptop for work so I can't really work here editing pictures, I haven't really seen my kids, I look like a zombie and I hate the hospital food, to be honest being here is pretty awful but I am trying to make the best of it..
I am so grateful for my sister, she is amazing, my kids (even though they miss us) they are having an amazing time with her. She is like their second mom and she is great with them but man... I miss my kids so much...
So after chemo we have to take Andy to get this shot that helps to reproduce more white blood cells. When you get chemo your white cells get low and this makes it so you don't have an immune system. That is not good because you can catch an infection pretty easily, need blood transfusions, etc...
This shot is pretty awful, he used to get it last time and it makes you feel like you have the flu and some labor pain on your back... But it helps, so we will get this on Wednesday.
Then we see the oncologist Thursday and then we have an appointment with the doctor at the Mayo clinic ...
Busy week... I haven't put make up on for almost 5 days... What??? Me?? Haha, I have no earrings and I am wearing sandals all of the time, pajama pants. If you know me you know what this means ha ... But we are almost there for cycle one...
(I love this pic we took it right before coming to the hospital )
Watching the LDS conference this weekend was such a great blessing, it felt like most of the talks were for me...! But one of my favorite ones was the one from
Elder Klebingat:
"Accept trials, setbacks and surprises as part of your mortal experience." When trials come, the adversary will tell you that you did something wrong, that this is a punishment, that Heavenly Father doesn't love you, he said. "Ignore that!"
Elder Klebingat said, "Acknowledge and face your weaknesses, but don't be immobilized by them, because some of them will be your companions until you depart this earth life."
And I did, I accepted this trial, there is nothing else I can do other than live it and enjoy it. That's right I have to enjoy it because otherwise I would be mad, sad and crying all day long. I think I finally accepted His plan. It's crazy that it took me this long but it did ... Like Elder Klebingat said, I am here smiling at this trial and looking up thankful for the opportunity to grow and learn more...
I am not perfect, of course, I am human. I still cry every time I go see my kids and leave them, I still cry when I go home and shower, and I still cry when I see my Andy in all this awful pain and symptoms, but I am okay... I know we will be okay...
Not to brag about myself (okay just a little) but I have always been a strong soul, since I was little my parents used to leave me in charge of the house instead of my older brother. I used to have little businesses, selling candy or toys at the door of my mom’s office. I remember at elementary school when the teacher said please bring this map tomorrow or something from the library I used to buy few extras because I knew someone was going to forget and I used to sell the things double the price! Haha... I have always been so independent. I traveled a lot with my dad in Mexico, I survived college living by myself, I always had amazing grades at school, I self-taught several things. I remember when my parents were getting divorced I saw their transformation after getting baptized in the LDS church, and I decided to get baptized too... I finished college in Mexico... I managed coming to another country (here) to get married with Andy not speaking any English, not being able to drive or work and not having any family or friends here. Andy lost his job when I was pregnant. I had a small tumor on my left shoulder, I also had 7 little tumors in my thyroid and they had to remove it 3 years ago. I had a miscarriage also. I think all of this was nothing else but Heavenly Father getting me ready for this trial. Isn't He amazing? Isn't He awesome? He knew!! He perfectly knew I was going to need all that knowledge and all that led straight to being able to face this trial and fight hard and learn at the same time...
Today I am grateful for today.
Things will be back to normal soon.
I know they will.
Last thing my friend organized this run/walk for Andy. November 15th for more info you can email me so I can give you her info leylamosa@hotmail.com
Thanks
ESPANOL....
Pues de nuevo no haré la traducción exacta de todo pero tratare de explicar lo mismo...
Hemos tenido muy malas noches, los síntomas de las quimioterapias son más fuertes que nunca
Andy ha tenido mucho hipo es uno de los efectos y gracias al hipo le da mucho asco y le duele mucho el estómago pero todo estaba dicho que así sería, ya sabíamos que así iban a estar las cosas de pesadas pero de todas formas es difícil pasar por todo...
La noche del sabado fue horrible, nada podía calmar sus ascos, yo creo que desde que nos enteramos desde la primera vez, jamás había tenido una noche tan fea, realmente horrible verlo así en tanto sufrimiento y sentirme incapaz de ayudarlo de sentirme inútil sin poder hacer nada por el ...
Su hermana y su papas tuvieron que venir a ayudarme porque las cosas se pusieron muuy pesadas y por fin como a las 2 de la mañana todo se calmó
La noche de anoche también fue pesada pero no tanto como la anterior, nada más se paraba cada dos horas con ascos y le daban medicina y se volvía a dormir
Hoy literalmente durmió todo el día, sin fuerza de nada, y no ha comido en tres días seguidos
Se supone que ya nos íbamos a r a la casa mañana pero como están las cosas dicen q sí no come no nos pueden dejar ir...
Así es que a ver que pasa...
Llevo cinco días sin pintarme ando en pijamas y desarreglada por q realmente y los que me conoces saben que no soy así, pero no es estoy triste no deprimida sólo cansada de las largas noches
No soy perfecta pero le estoy echando todas las ganas del mundo, tengo una actitud positiva, no he renegado y tengo mucha mucha fe de q todo estará bien y de que venceremos esto.
No por ser presumida (bueno tantito jaaj) pero Desde chiquita me acuerdo que siempre he dicho fuerte y luchadora...cuando mis papas tenían que salir de la ciudad me dejaban a mi encargada de mis hermanos en vez de johny mi hermano mayor por que yo era la responsable jaja. Siempre me encantaba hacer negocio con todo, me acuerdo que de chiquita puse un "negocio" en la puerta del consultorio de mi mama tenía yo como 6 años jaja vendía yo dulces y juguetes para los reyes magos... En la primaria siempre me llevaba yo mapas extras o cosas de la papelería para cuando loa maestros encargaba sabía yo que siempre habría un despistado que se le olvidaría jaaj, siempre tuve buenas calificaciones, becas, viajé mucho con mi papa, me titule , tuve un tumor en el hombro, 7 tumores en mi tiroide, perdí a un bebe durante un embarazo, Andy lo despidieron cuando yo estaba embarazada, me case con un americano y decidí venir a un país donde no conocía a nadie ni hablaba el idioma sin familia ni amigos .. Y más... Y todo esto ahora lo veo y pienso,... Dios sabía!!! El sabía perfectamente que esto con Andy iba a pasar y desde niña me dio la bendición de irme preparando poco a poco! Que bendición tan grande haber podido aprender todas esas enseñanzas para poder ahora enfrentar esto
Nos yo perfecta! Aún chillo cuando manejo sola, cuando voy a ver. A mis hijos y me tengo que despedir de ellos, aún chilló cuando voy a mi casa. A bañarme y la veo vacía, aún lloro cuando veo a Andy tirado en esta cama conociendo que fuerte es. Pero tengo fe, la fe mueve montañas y yo la tengo y se que nuestro padre celestial me ama y todo esto acabara algún día
Todo pasara!
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