P2014
Wow!
Where to start?? I remember exactly a year ago, I was spending New Years Eve with my family that came from Mexico, (as usual) to help us start Andy´s very first Chemotherapy... I was so sad, I even posted on Facebook that I was not excited for 2014, ooh how wrong I was...
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2014 has been one of the most amazing years of my life... I am so so grateful for this past year, I have learned so much, I have grown, and I have loved. I am a different person thanks to 2014.
Happiest memory of 2014?
My happiest memory of 2014 is when we got the opportunity, (thanks to an amazing family) to go to California with Andy and the kids after he was in remission. Ooh what a wonderful trip! We won tickets to Sea World and Disneyland! We pretty much just spent all day at the beach in Carlsbad... I remember one of the funniest memories there was when David and Mia had been super naughty. We sent them to time out. However, this was a "special time out". We made them put their nose to the floor with their hands behind their back. While they were crying and winning, Andy and me had to walk away together to go laugh like crazies in the other room. Then, we came back to take pictures of them and laugh some more hahhaa.... I know it sounds mean but it was the funniest thing ever haha... We had the amazing opportunity to spend quality time with the kids and Andy, we had sooo much fun. I remember I was staring out at the ocean for hours and hours; watching Andy play soccer with David. Meanwhile, Mia built castles next to me. I remember packing our lunches and eating sandy food by the beach. I remember how happy we were during that trip and all I can think of was, "I can´t wait to spend more family time again!".
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The most sad day of 2014?
If you ask me one of the more sad moments of 2014 was when we found out that we were not going to be able to have any more children. That still makes me sad. You would think, "Isn't her saddest moment when she found out that Andy´s Cancer was back?" Well, it wasn't. Because yes it was hard, and devastating; but I always knew that Andy was going to be okay. And I still know that it will be this way. But finding out that I was not going to have any more babies on my own, was a so shocking for me. I always said I wanted to have 5 kids. Andy never agreed with that number, but still, he always knew that I wanted to have more kids. So today I appreciate the two wonderful kids that I do have. They are mine for a reason and I am so grateful to be their mom.
"Bad" things of 2014?
2014 was a year full of trials. I can´t even mention every single thing that we went through. Andy had 4 cycles of chemotherapy, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, every 2 weeks. Then he had a major surgery, had 2 more rounds in the hospital, and then 2 and 1 bone marrow transplant. Thats total of 32 days plugged to some type of chemo, countless days in the hospital, tons of doctors appointments, labs, xrays, CT Scans, PET scans, and more. We had financial problems. We had to give our dog away, we crashed our car, my purse was stolen, car problems, I deleted a photo session before delivering it (ughhh). I had to leave our kids hundreds of times, and not to mention, I can´t remember what other trials we had this year. BUT they are nothing compared to the the miracles and blessings that we received this 2014.
Good things of 2014?
First lets start with the blessings. We found out about Andy´s Cancer the first time, we met amazing people at the Ironwood cancer center. Encountered the sweetest nurses that became friends. So many tears and conversations were shared at that place. We met Andy´s first doctor; such a nice and caring guy. We were able to make new friends. Have amazing people around us that helped us in every single way possible, with: fundraisers, meals, rides, presents, favors, someone always did our yard, a neighbor took our garbage out, someone sent my mail. We had amazing teachers that did and over did it for my family. Prayers, fastings, priesthood blessings, hugs, kisses, random acts of kindness, a call, a text, a note. Someone even offered to clean our house to get it ready for Andy. We had help taking my kids to practices, paying for David's sports tuitions, an amazing family taking care of our dog, someone fixing things at my house. Someone taking my kids to church, my family never leaving me alone , always jumping into a plane to come help. My sister and brother-in-law watching my kids, someone teaching me how to cook. A new job position for Andy, with an amazing company supporting him during this trial. Help with food, groceries, visits to the different hospitals; oh my goodness I can´t write it all down! We have had SO many blessings this year.
My favorite song of 2014?
Actually, they're the same favorite songs my 3 year old has haha. Let it Go from Frozen... I know, you can laugh haha. But I can identify with this song so much; LET IT GO!
"And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free"
And I am so free. Free from superficial things, free of fear, free of so many things.
And Shake it Off? Seriously, what else can you do other than Shake it Off??
"It's like I got this music
In my mind
Saying, "It's goanna be alright."
haha we danced to this song how many times???
I have a video of the day that Andy came back from the hospital, after chemo, and Mia wanted to dance with him to this song. He just got up and danced with her!
Something that no one knows of 2014?
One of my best friends from California, Nitzia Chama, surprised me and sent me some concert VIP tickets to go see my favorite Mexican singer. I have been her fan since I was 4 years old! haha! Oh my gosh! when I saw her I cried and cried like a crazy groupie.
Best memory of Andy in 2014?
Right after he had his surgery, I mean seriously, a few weeks after, he wasn't even told he was in remission yet; one of his best friends ( I consider them my parents here in the U.S., although they are not that old) the Randalls invited us to the lake. Well Andy pretty much made them plan the trip haha! They took us and I told Andy, "Fine, we will go, but you are not wakeboarding there is no way! Promise me! Your, surgery was few weeks ago. Please!" and he said, sure...once we were at the lake, he was like, "Hermano Randall, I am going to wakeboard". He looked at me and said, "Sorry, I have to!"
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It was such a joy see him so happy, jumping and doing crazy things in the lake. I remember the kids cheering for him and saying, "Go Daddy! Go!". I will always remember that day, when I told to myself, "No matter what, Andy has to go through this. No matter how hard things seem to be, he will always come back strong".
But the most amazing blessings that we received, were the ones that you can´t see. The ones that I can´t show you, but the ones that I have deep in my heart. I was able to understand the importance of tithing. I truly believe that as long as I do the things that I am suppose to do, my family and i will be blessed. I truly, fully, comprehend the plan of salvation. I know that we are here for a reason. I know that I accepted this challenge in a previous life. I know that I will be with my Heavenly Father one day, next to my eternal family. I realized how much I love Andy. How much he loves me. I became his best friend and he became mine. I learned the true meaning of a prayer. Sometimes we say, "I will pray for you, or my prayers are with you". But I learned that when you get on your knees, with an open heart, you are able to feel the spirit. You feel someone is truly listening to you. I learned to pray with thankfulness, instead of asking for things.
I learned to accept His plan and His way. Of course it's not always what I want , or how I want things to be, but I learned that Heavenly Father truly knows what is best for me and my family. I became more independent, I have always been independent, but with this trial, I realized that there is no limit. That with faith and love you can do hard things... I became more compassionate and I learned that people don´t need to know who you are helping. Like my friend Emily says, "Helping others needs to feel normal. So normal that you don´t even notice it. So normal that no one needs to know it". I learned to enjoy a hug. To hug more, to hug and hug. When I came to the U.S., it was so weird for me to hug and kiss people, (we do it all the time in Mexico) but (don't be offended) but the culture here is a little bit more cold. Well, I am not shy anymore. I learned that sometimes a hug can be more powerful than words.
I learned to accept His plan and His way. Of course it's not always what I want , or how I want things to be, but I learned that Heavenly Father truly knows what is best for me and my family. I became more independent, I have always been independent, but with this trial, I realized that there is no limit. That with faith and love you can do hard things... I became more compassionate and I learned that people don´t need to know who you are helping. Like my friend Emily says, "Helping others needs to feel normal. So normal that you don´t even notice it. So normal that no one needs to know it". I learned to enjoy a hug. To hug more, to hug and hug. When I came to the U.S., it was so weird for me to hug and kiss people, (we do it all the time in Mexico) but (don't be offended) but the culture here is a little bit more cold. Well, I am not shy anymore. I learned that sometimes a hug can be more powerful than words.
I also made some mistakes. I said things that I didn´t mean to say. I probably I hurt people (I have one specific name in my head) that I didn't mean to hurt. But I learned that sometimes you need to make the decisions that your heart and the spirit tell you to take. Sometimes people will never understand your reasons. All you can do is pray for them because their actions can be from all the pain that they have. And after all, I learned to forgive people, even when they are not sorry ( this one is a hard one!!!!!!).
I am not perfect by any means, actually I am kind of crazy sometimes. Buy today, my heart is full of gratitude for the wonderful year that I had; man it was good! I laughed so much, I danced, and sang, I played with my kids, I kissed, I hugged. I learned how to enjoy life!
Dear friends and family, I don't want to sound like I am just preaching these are just feelings from an open heart...I already said this once, but please, I tell you this with all of my heart. Don't wait until "bad things" come into your life to appreciate what you have. Enjoy your husband, enjoy your wife, show them how much they mean to you. Enjoy that walk, that run, enjoy the air, the sun, love love love. Don't waste any more time worrying for material things. Don't waste, not even one minute, worrying about what people think. Do things with your heart. Love some more, hug whoever you can. Kiss your kids, look into their beautiful eyes and be grateful for the minutes or hours that you have with them. Yes, they can drive you crazy sometimes, but ohh, how much I wish they could drive me crazy right now. If you are not close to Heavenly Father, it is never to late to do so. I promise you that you will find the best friend that a person could possibly ever have. I promise that you will never feel alone again. I promise you that you will feel love every day and night. I guarantee you that your life will change. Your trials won't be easier, but He will stand right next to you every single minute of them.
Thank you again to every single one of you that has said a prayer for us during this 2014 year. I feel your love on daily basis.
Happy New Year from a hospital room full of gratitude.
Leyla
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ESPAÑOL
Wow por donde inicio? me acuerdo que el 31 del año pasado mi familia vino de mexico como siempre para estar aqui cuando Andy iniciara su primera quimioterapia, estaba yo tan triste y hasta puse un post en Facebook diciendo como no queria que iniciara el 2014, estaba yo triste y confundida!
El 2014 ha sido uno de los años mas maravillosos de mi vida, estoy tan agradecida por este año que ha pasado, he aprendido tantas cosas, he crecido mas como ser humano, he aprendido a amar, siento que realmente me converti en mejor persona gracias al 2014
Momento mas feliz del 2014?
Si me preguntas cual es el momento mas feliz o el recuerdo mas feliz que tengo del 2014? bueno resulta que gracias a una familia muy generosa y a otras personas, pudimos ir a California, fuimos a SEa world y a Disneylandia y pasamos una semana en un condominio en la playa, el recuerdo mas chistoso que tengo es que David y Mia se estaban portando super mal jaja aqui en estados unidos se usa mucho algo que se llama Time out, quiere decir cuando los niños se portan mal aca no se les dan sus nalgadas sino los aislas de la situacion y los haces pasar unos minutos solos para que piensen lo malo que hicieron, normalmente se les pone en un rincon de la casa, pero Andy y yo los pusimos en el piso con la nariz directo al piso y los brazos atras de sus espaldas jajajja ya se ya se suena como q somos malos papas jajajja pero recuerdo que etsabamos en el condominio de la playa y Andy y yo nos tuvimos que ir de donde los pusimos porque nos estabamos carcajeando jajaja de ahi regresamos a tomarles fotos y a reirnos un poco mas jaja! fue un viaje super padre, pasamos mucho tiempo juntos como familia, disfrute de la playa, de la arena, del sol, recuerdo el pasar horas viendo a Andy jugar soccer con David mientras que mia construia castillos de arena junto a mi, recuerdo nuestras caminatas por la playa, nuestros lunches llenos de arena, nuestras risas, el cantar en el carro, fue realmente un viaje inolvidable
El dia mas triste del 2014?
Bueno tal vez todos ustedes podrian pensar que el momento mas triste fue cuando nos enteramos que el Cancer de Andy habia regresado! claro que fue un momento triste pero no fue tan tan triste porque en mi corazon jamas ha existido una sola duda de que el estara bien, siempre mi corazon ha estado lleno de fe de que el sanara, de que todo regresara a la normalidad. Asi es que el momento mas triste que tuve en el 2014 fue cuando nos dijo el doctor que no podriamos tener mas hijos, gracias a tanta quimioterapia no podremos tener mas bebes, en mi cabea siempre tuve el plan de tener cinco hijos, jaja ya se ya se cinco son muchos pero siempre dije que queria yo cinco niños corriendo por mi casa simepre quise una familia grande como la de mi papa o de mi mama, pero bueno tengo a mis dos grandes amores y a veces los planes de Dios no son los planes de uno...
Cosas malas que me pasaron en el 2014?
pues obviamente tnata quimioterapia, todas esas estancias en diferentes hospitales, problemas economicos, choque mi camioneta nuevesita, me robaron mi bolsa con dinero, enterarme que el cancer de Andy regreso, haber tenido que regalar a mi perrote Goldeendoodle, borre una session de fotos sin querer y no la he podido recuperar! doctores y mas doctores, tener que dejar a mis hijos tantas veces y mas cosas que ya ni me acuerdo!
Cosas buenas que me pasaron en el 2014?
Ni por donde empezar!!! Tantas bendiciones que hemos recibido este año que nop podria escribirlas todas. tantas muestras de cariño que hemos recibido, tantas oraciones, tanta ayuda de todo el mundo, comida para mis hijos, dinero, apoyo moral, ayuda a sacar la basura, o a cortar el pasto del patio, ayuda a limpiar la casa o a ir por los niños a la escuela, ayuda a llevar a mi hijo a sus practicas de baseball, ayuda a ir por la despensa, o mi familia viajando de tan lejos para ayudarme, ayuda de mi hermana y su esposo para cuidar a mis hijos, ayuda de doctores, amistades nuevas, tantas tantas bendiciones que recibimos este año que jamas podre olvidar
Mis canciones favoritas del 2014??
Libre soy !! claro Libre soy, libre soy
el viento me abrazará
Libre soy, libre soy
no me verán llorar.
Firme así, me quedo aquí
gran tormenta habrá.
y shake it off the Taylor swift!! que otra cancion podria ser? jaja como dice la cancion tengo una musica en mi cabeza que me dice todo estara bien!!!
Algo que nadie sabe del 2014?
Jajaja me acuerdo y me rio! una de nuestras mejores amigas de California Nitzia Chama quiso hacernos felices y nos mando boletos para ir al concierto de Gloria Trevi, siii nome da pena soy fan de Gloria desde que tenia yo 4 años de edad! jajaj asi es que estaba yo super emocionada! cuando vi a gloria casi me da un paro cardiaco, me converti en una de esas fans que casi casi se desmaya, no podia creerlo llore y llore no podian i hablar! y hasta perdi la cartera de mi hermana en ese instante de la emocion!! jajajaja
Mejor memoria de Andy del 2014?
Recuerdo que a tans olo pocos dias despues de la operacion donde le quitaron lo que le quedaba de sus tumores, una de mis familias y amigos favoritos nos invitaron al lago a andar en su lancha, aqui hay algo que se llama Wakeboarding no se como se llama en español pero es cuando te subes como a una tabla y la lancha te jala y haces trucos o brincas en el agua etc.. bueno el caso es que fuimos ese dia pero le dije a Andy, prometeme que no te vas a aventar de loco por favor! apenas te operaron hace poco! dice si lo prometo.. una vez que llegamos al lago y que la lancha arranco dice! hermano Randall me aviento! me quedo viendo y me dice voy! jajaja sabia que lo haria. Recuerdo verlo y la felicidad que senti de verlo recuperado, aun recuerdo las voces de mis hijos gritandole vamos daddy! tu puedes daddy! y desde ahi la idea en mi cabeza diciendome, Andy es fuerte, Andy se recupera y sale de todas, y asi siempre lo hara!
Pero las cosas mas importantes que aprendi y recibi en el 2014, son las cosas que no puedes ver, son las cosas que no te puedo enseñar, son las cosas que guardo en mi corazon. Aprendi que una oracion sincera y sana hace milagros, aprendi que cuando mas solo te sientes, que en los momentos mas oscuros de tu vida es cuando debes arrodillarte y acordarte que hay una persona que siempre estara ahi a tu lado para abrazarte en esos momentos mas dificiles de tu vida. Aprendi que una oracion es poderosa y que aunque sea un dicho muy comun realmente la fe mueve montañas. Aprendi a amar al 100% a amar las cosas que no puedes comprar, aprendi a disfrtar de una sonrisa, de un abrazo, de un beso, aprendi que lo mas importante es la familia, que sin mi familia nada de lo que hemos hecho lo podria haber hecho sin su apoyo y amorincondicional. Aprendi que cuando la gente te ama de verdad, esta dispuesta a dar todo de ellos con tal de ayudar. Aprendi simplemente a amar, aprendi que esta vida tiene un plan, que nuestro Padre Celestial tiene un plan paara mi, para ti, oara cada uno de nosotros, a veces las cosas no son como uno quiere, a veces las cosas no son como las esperamos, pero si abrimos nuestras mentes y corazones podremos entender cual es el verdadero plan y motivo de las cosas que nos pasan. Aprendi a sonreirle a la vida. Siempre he sido muy independiente pero con esta prueba me volvi aun mas, me di cuenta que con fe todo se puede y que ahora si como dicen cuando se quiere se puede. Aorendi a decirle que si a la gente, a que cuando alguien me preguntaba necesitas algo? decir si de hecho si necesito algo, en vez de decir estoy bien gracias, de abrir realmente mi corazon y dejar que me ayudaran... no soy perfecta obviamente pero este año 2014 me dejo muchas enseñanzas
Querida familia y amigos, hoy le squiero decir que los amo, que estoy agradecida por su amor infitico e incondicional, les quiero decir que no desaprovechen el tiempo en esta vida en cosas que no valen la pena, en preocupaciones materiales, en cosas superficiales, no desaprovechen la risa de sus hijos, el abrazo de una madre, el ir de la mano con tu esposo, no desaprovechen el aire, el sol, la vida, aprovechen cada minuto que tienen para reir, para abrazar, para disfrutar, no esperen a que una desgracia llegue a su vida para darse cuenta de las muchas cosas que tienes y de lo tanto que hay que estar agradecidos.. si no te has acercado aun a Dios, ojala y este 2015 puedas hacerlo, ojala y puedas conocerlo, cuando lo hagas, te daras cuenta que jamas estaras solo, te daras cuenta que el estara contigo no importa lo que te pase ni donde estes ni lo que hagas, las cosas ¨malas¨aun seguiran pasando pero si lo tienes a el todo no importa que sera mas facil porque el caminara contigo... tengo un testimonio de que el me ama, de que me escucha y de que sabe quien soy, mis sufrimientos, mi dolor y de que jamas me ha abandonado durante este 2014
GRacias por todo y Feliz año Nuevo desde un cuarto de hospital
Los quiero!
Leyla
