Second Rounds of chemo/second Transplant... SEGUNDA RONDA DE QUIMIO,SEGUNDO TRANSPLANTE

Thank you so much to everyone that helped making this Christmas a very special one, we will never forget it, my kids had so much joy and happiness, it was just an incredibly sweet time...

On Christmas Eve, we had a very important doctors appointment, we found out the results of Andy´s PET scan, we are SO excited with the results, Andy´s tumor the one by his right lung is totally gone and the one next to his heart is just about 2cm big, it was around 5.6 cm so it is looking great, also his cancer levels went down from 1000 to just 50!!!! We are SO happy and this was such amazing news right before Christmas!

We had so much help this Christmas! I didn't buy anything for my kids or Andy, everything was ready and planned for everyone. Andy´s aunts Marianne and Marla sent a lot of presents from Utah for the kids, a company Shane Auto repair decided to give a lot of presents for them, also another amazing lady  Debra contacted David´s teacher and brought more presents for them. Yet one more girl contacted my sister and did the same. Andy´s friends form work (Beth, Rosie and Joseph and Sarah) got them some more and they were so spoiled, they got every single thing that they wanted (more than a kid should get). My friend Rickelle got an awesome present for Andy and my friend Ginger helped me print a book that I made for him (BTW he loooved it).  Also David's teacher Barbara Arroyo made the cutest little book ever. David's classmates wrote their wishes to Andy and made a picture for him , it was the sweetest thing ever!

Cindy Fast and her lovely girl Heather Graves ( who happens to be the mom of  David´s girlfriend ,according to him, LOL) brought tons of groceries, socks, pajamas, money, and more toys for them. She raised all this at her school. Andy´s parents brought them more presents too...... Joana one of Andy's nurse got other things too..

My sister Jona and Ben got them even more things, and we had a wonderful time with them.

Liz Dalton from church also got some presents for them and she brought us Christmas dinner! That ham was delicious and it was such a special meal full of love... 
My kids faces, their laughs, yelling like crazies on Christmas morning is something that I wont be able to thank enough we will definitely never ever will be able to top this Christmas! ( I hope I didn't´t forget anyone)... 

You have no idea how much those little words coming from my 6 year old touched me. He is right, look at all these people giving to my family. I hope with all my heart that pretty soon we can do something like this for someone else...

On Christmas we got such a nice surprise, a few days before my car broke, of course it did, and Andy´s car as well! But speaking just of my car, I was not happy about it, especially since we needed to pay $1049. I even took a picture of it. 

We have been so blessed, but the reason I want to share this is because I have such a strong testimony about if you do the right thing, if you do the things you are suppose to be doing with all your heart, things will always work out. This young man, Ali Tomineek (http://alitomineek.com/blog/community/),thanks to Rosi Robles, decided to start a fundraiser with all of his fans, he showed up on Christmas with amazing presents for my kida AND $1020... Do you think this is a coincidence? I don´t think so, in my mind there are not coincidences anymore, everything is touched and moved and guided by my Heavenly Father, he truly knows my struggles, he truly understands my feelings, he is watching over me and my family.  This amazing young man is also going to have a concert to raise more money for my family... And I have no words to thank him, he is so young, and he decided to make a difference.

I know that some people can think, well why doesn't she find a job?  This question has been on my mind lately, why I just don´t go and find a full time job and then all of financial problems will be over? Let me tell you why... I have been praying a lot about it and I realized that I have a priority. Andy needs me, he needs me more than anything, the rest, the rest will be okay. If we have to sell the house, the cars, or everything else, oh well. Those are material things, those things can go and can always come back, but this time here with Andy, this will be something that I will never ever regret...

December 26th Andy was admitted again into the hospital, he will have a second chemotherapy and a second Bone and Marrow transplant. We will be in the hospital the same days that we were last time. The Doctor said that he will probably need surgery after this and we are not sure about radiations yet, but it can be a possibility too...

Once that you start all the process here at the hospital, they say that day 0 is your transplant, so any days that you spend here before the transplant are consider days minus, for example we got here day -6 and chemo started on day -5 so I will be talking about days from now on...

DAY -6
We got here in the afternoon, and they put a new line in Andy, a line that they are going to use for his chemo. He says it was a little painful and uncomfortable, this PIC line goes from his arm to his heart. They took him for x rays, he had a blood test, and all kind of tests that you can imagine to get him ready for chemo and transplant. Day -6 was actually fun, we got to talk a lot, watched TV, ate okay and it was just an easy day

DAY -5
The fun began... At 10 in the morning they brought this innocent small bag of chemo, if you see it you would never imagine that this little bag is so powerful... The second chemo was at noon and same thing, little tiny bag. In the evening, Andy started feeling sick, his nausea started and he could´t eat anything. He slept almost all morning and afternoon but he woke up few times to throw up. He started having a fever and they had to do all kind of tests to see why the fever was there.

Andy´s sister, Danielle and her husband came to visit, she has been so sweet during this trial, it was good to see him smile and tried to talk a little bit with them, and for me, having them here was so good, I got to talk to someone. I love it here but sometimes the days just feel so long specially while he is asleep.

The night was awful, we didn't get any sleep at all. The nurses here are amazing, so sweet, we just love them all. We just couldn't sleep all night, in between checking his vitals,  nausea, labs, etc, we couldn't catch a break...

DAY -6
Chemo day 2... At 10 in the morning they started the next chemo, same thing than day -5, little bags, but this second time Andy was really sick, when I say really sick I mean very nauseous and throwing up a lot, poor Andy. He doesn't complain at all, he just looks at me and I know that it is time to bring the bucket close to him, because he can´t even make it to the bathroom... 
I wish he could just sleep for the next 20 days.

He hasn't eaten anything again today, he also can´t keep his pills down today, no water, no Gatorade nothing. The only good thing of all of this is that we knew that it was going to be this way, it doesn't make it any easier, but at least we are a little more ready, and we know what to expect.His heart rate started going crazy again, not as crazy as last time but still higher than the average. For me today day -6 has been a little long, I have been just waiting and it sounds sad but just ready with the bucket...

I will keep everyone posted. Thanks so much for caring about my family, this blog has 13,000 views... Isn't this crazy?? It blows my mind.   :) Here is the video of Ali, what he did for us and what he is still doing so here is The link for the video that he made and the concert announcement !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzEPSc7i_Bw&sns=fb

XOXO
LEYLA MOSS

ESPAÑOL

Muchas muchas gracias a todas las personas que ayudaron a que tuviéramos una Navidad increíble, mis hijos recibieron muchos regalos de gente que no conocíamos y pasaron un día mágico... 

Tuvimos la oportunidad de pasar Navidad en casa y jamás olvidaremos estos recuerdos tan maravillosos que vivimos este día..

El día antes de Navidad, tuvimos una cita muy importante con el oncologo de Andy, nos íbamos a enterar de los resultados del examen que le hicieron a Andy, se le llama PET scan, es un escan donde te dicen por medio de radiactividad como van los tumores, como va el cáncer si va haciéndose mas pequeño, si los tratamientos van sirviendo, etc....

La verdad estábamos muy nerviosos y preocupados especialmente porque era 24 de Diciembre.. Pero recibimos muy muy buenas noticias, el tumor de Andy, el que estaba en sus pulmones desapareció por completo! Desaparecido ya no existe y el otro junto su corazón cuando inicio estos últimos tratamientos era de 5.6 centímetros mas o menos y ahora es de solo 2 cm!!! Aparte sus niveles de cáncer en la sangre eran de 1000 y ahora están en 50! asi es que quiere decir que todo va funcionando de maravilla. Dijo el doctor que lo mas probable es que va a necesitar otra operación y probablemente radiaciones, pero bueno eso ya se vera en el futuro..

Recibimos muchas muchas bendiciones esta Navidad, aqui en estados Unidos la Navidad es como cuando vienen los Reyes magos y es el dia donde los niños reciben todos los juguetes, pues esta Navidad no gaste ni un solo peso, todo estaba planeado para mis hijos, las tias de Andy les mandaron de Utah regalos, una señora de una compañía les mando muchísimos mas, otra señora les compro mas, amigos del trabajo de Andy le trajeron otras cosas, gente de la iglesia, sus abuelos, mi hermana, vecinos, el caso es que eran regalos y regalos, jamás podremos superar esta Navidad, nuestros hijos estuvieron súper consentidos y recibieron as de lo que pidieron a Santa, que increíble experiencia, jamás tendré palabras suficientes para agradecerles toda la felicidad que trajeron y brindaron a mis hijos... Uno de los recuerdos mas bonitos que tengo d este día es cuando estábamos desayunando, hicimos un desayuno especial de Navidad y los niños quisieron cantarle las mañanitas a Jesús, porque realmente es lo que se celebra en Navidad, su nacimiento, cuando acabamos de cantarle las mañanitas con los pastelitos que le hicieron los niños, les dije, okay ahora cada quien vamos a hacer como un brindis y vamos a decirle a Jesús las cosas por las que estamos agradecidos en esta Navidad... De verdad que al escribir se me salen las lágrimas de acordarme de las palabras de mi David, en su corazoncito y ya tiene tanta gratitud... dijo... Jesus estoy agradecido porque moriste por nosotros, estoy agradecido porque nos has venido a salvar en este mundo, estoy agradecido porque me enseñaste que la Navidad se trata de celebrarte a ti pero también porque me enseñaste que la Navidad se trata no solo de recibir sino de DAR... Imaginen mi hijo de 6 años ...

Mi corazón se llena de gratitud al ver las enseñanzas que esta prueba tan grande le esta dejando a mis hijos...

Lo volvieron a internar el 26 de Diciembre, y tendrá otra ronda de quimioterapia y de ahí un segundo transplante de Medula espinal.., aquí dicen las enfermeras y doctores que el día de tu transplante esta considerado día  cero ya que no tienes sistema inmunológico como quien dice tu cuerpo muere y vuelve a nacer. Todos los días antes de tu transplante son considerados días menos por ejemplo lo internaron en día -6, la quimio inicio en día -5 y hoy es día -4

DIA -6

Llegamos al hospital y prácticamente fue un día fácil, solo le hicieron muchos exámenes, rayos x y todo lo necesario para prepararlo para la quimioterapida

DIA -5 a las 10 de la mañana trajeron la bolsita de quimioterapia, de verdad si la vieran no creerían que esa bolsita tan inocente sea tan poderosa, no pareciera, lo que es es que no esta diluida con nada, es pura y mera quimioterapia, veneno para matar al cáncer, luego luego en cuanto inicio su quimio los efectos secundarios iniciaron... mucho asco, mucho vomito... enseguida le dio temperatura y pasamos muy mala noche, no dormimos absolutamente nada... Aproximadamente a las 12 del día le pusieron la segunda quimio y termino rápido como en una hora... De ahí el resto del día solo fue puro sentirse mal

DIA -4

A las 10 de ma mañana iniciaron la siguiente quimioterapia, de nuevo una bolsita inocente pequeñita pero hoy ha sido un dia un poco mas difícil para Andy, ha tenido mucho vomito, no puede tomar nada ni sus pastillas ni agua ni nada... si esta siendo muy duro pero por lo menos ya sabemos que esperar, por lo menos ya vivimos esto y sabemos lo difícil que va a ser y las cosas que pueden pasar, claro eso no quita lo horrible que la esta pasando Andy pero por lo menos para mi es un consuelo de saber que al final de la tormenta llegara la calma..

Que increíble Navidad pasamos de verdad, jamás olvidare todas las cosas que todas esas personas hicieron por nosotros, definitivamente se que mi Padre Celestial tiene un plan para mi, soy testigo de que el sabe de mi sufrimiento, que el sabe de mis necesidades y de que jamás me abandona

Me acabo de enterar que este blog tiene mas de 13000 visitas!!!! Que locura! Muchas gracias a todos los que se han tomado la molestia de pasar por aquí

Con cariño

Leyla

We will be home for Christmas! Pasaremos Navidad en CASa

Well, sorry that I haven't stop by the blog, since Andy was released from the hospital. We have been kind of crazy busy, we have had tons of Doctors appointments and we have been spending a lot of time with our kids...

As some of you know Andy was in the hospital for more than 20 days, and finally last week he was able to come back home. The kids were super excited to see him! They can't stop following him around, they are talking to him all day long and they are just happy to be back home with us.

We will be home for Christmas!!!! I have been doing everything that I can to keep Andy healthy so we can enjoy Christmas at home. His immune system gets better and better every day but is not perfect so I have been cleaning the house like crazy, washing my kids hands probably 20 times a day LOL and more, but I am so happy to be able to be home with the kids...

We have been cramming in all the Christmas activities; we went to see Christmas lights, made a ginger bread house, watched Christmas movies, and all those things that the kids love!! I am so excited. I love this Holiday, well I love it now, before I got married to Andy it wasn't my favorite but after I got married to Andy, he made sure to change my mind and now it is absolutely my favorite time of the year... 

WE have been so blessed, a few months ago talking to my friend Laura she told me, “Leyla you are going to be blessed, you are going to receive so many blessings for Christmas.” And we have been so so blessed, there is not one day that I don't find something by my door step. There is not one day where someone doesn’t come and bring us a treat, food, groceries and more... my heart is full with gratitude for all the love and support, I can't believe how much we have been blessed with.

December 16th we hit a year after Andy was diagnosed for the very first time... like I said in one Facebook post, I still remember when I got that phone call from Andy... I remember Andy had been sick for few weeks before December 16th, he stopped going to the gym and had a horrible cough, fevers, sweating at nights and it was just getting worse and worse. I remember one night he couldn't breathe good, so the next day I told him “You need to go to the Doctor. I bet you anything you have pneumonia or something like that...” So he did, he went to the Doctor and that same day the Doctor told him, “Let’s do some x rays to see what's going on.” That same day they did a CT scan on him and that same day they told him he had an 11 cm tumor next to his heart and one more in his lungs... he called me and asked me, “Where are you?” I said, “I am driving from work, (I used to work at the Elementary School in my neighborhood) and I am picking Mia up.” (my sister used to watch her) so he said, “Please call me when you get there...” I started crying the entire way to my sister's house, I instantly knew something was wrong, I got there and called him and he said, “I should wait to talk to you at home but I will be at the doctors for a while.” and I said just tell me know, of course I wasn't ready for those news, he said well, (he was ALWAYS calm and peaceful) “They found a little something by my heart.” I said, “A little something, what do you mean?” He said, “Well an 11 cm tumor and another one by my lungs, but I will be okay. I promise you I will, I have to go I am going to see the doctor again...” A what???? A tumor? I told my sister the news, I had to leave her house because I didn’t want Mia to see me like this, so I went to her front yard and the first thing I did was to call my mom in Mexico. I was devastated, I was screaming, I was crying, I even threw up. I was so desperate my mom tried to calm me down and she was crying with me at the same time. I knew since then that my life was about to change entirely, I knew since then that a big battle was about to start. My mom was so good with me and she helped me to calm down, I am not going to lie, I am not always as strong as you think, but I managed to calm down because I needed to drive back home to meet Andy. I got home, put Mia down for a nap and Andy got home... we didn't talk to each other, we just hugged each other, we went to my room and we knelt down together and we prayed and prayed we stopped, and prayed some more... after that we sat in my bed, he kept hugging me still and he told me again, “Mi vida, I will be okay, I will fight whatever this is, I will never leave you I will be okay....”

It has been a year since that day, at the beginning of our trial everything was so confusing, everything did not seem fair, I was not happy for the new year to start, I was afraid, I was mad, I was not in a good place... but I have been so blessed with the spirit, I have been so touched by so many. I have felt Heaven's father arms every single day after December 16th and my testimony got bigger and bigger, I saw the big picture, I saw that this was happening for a reason. I understood that this was not a punishment for Andy. I realized that we have been chosen for this trial, I understood that we are so LUCKY that Heavenly Father trusted us with this. I still have so much to learn and change, I would like to forgive some people, I would love to have better relationship with others and I have specific names in my head.... I would like to learn how to control my emotions. I would like to learn how to be more discrete and don't say everything that I think or feel, but hey, I am not perfect and everything is a process and some things take more time than others, but again, this has been such a wonderful blessing for me and my family...

Today I can say thank you Cancer, thank you for coming to my life, thank you for getting me even closer to Andy, thank you for letting me spend all this time with my best friend, thank you for letting me be there for Andy day and night, thank you for changing my life, without you Cancer I had never had all the wonderful experiences that I have had, without you coming to this home I wouldn't meet so many wonderful people.

 Thanks to you my kids one day will come back to this blog and they will be like, what a strong dad we have, we want to be like him or look how my mom loved my dad, thanks to you my kids one day will be anxious and wanting to help someone else in need, thanks to you I see beauty in every day of my life, thanks to you I appreciate my home, my friends, my everything, thanks to you I became a warrior, thanks to Cancer I confirmed again how much my mom, dad, brother and sister love me, thanks to Cancer I found a friend in my brother in law Ben, and I can keep thanking you Cancer because you have been wonderful with us... don't get confused I don't want you in my life, I don't want you close to my Andy but I am grateful for you...

I will try to keep this more updated maybe after Andy gets admitted, all I am going to do for the very few days its keep enjoying my little family, drinking hot cocoa and cuddling with my husband.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
FELIZ NAVIDAD!
XOXO

_________________________________________________________________________________
EN ESPANOL!

Lo siento mucho que no he podido regresar al blog, desde que dieron de alta a Andy nos la hemos pasado de aqui para alla, que en citas, que [ara la casa, que de regreso al hospital, han sido unos dias muy ocupados pero han valido la pena.
Hemos podido estar con nuestros hijos y eso no lo cambio por nada, no puedo olvidar aun la expression de mis hijos cuando vieron a Andy llegar a la casa, los gritos, los abrazos, y Mia y David sin poder parar de hablar queriendole contar a Andy todo lo que han hecho en estos dias

Afortunadamente e increiblemente Andy esta muy muy bien, no puedo creer aun que tan enfermo ha estado y verlo asi como esta ahorita, comiendo major, caminando normal, sonriendo y recuperandose cada dia mas. Esta semana que viene lo vuelven a internar para la siguiente quimioterapia y de ahi le haran otro transplante de medula osea, esta semana tenemos tambien un examen donde nos diran que tanto ha disminuido el cancer y como va avanzando todo...

Ya hace un ano desde que diagnosticaron a Andy, aun recuerdo aquel momento  en el que me entere que nuestras vidas iban a cambiar por complete.... En ese entonces trabajaba yo en una escuela, de hecho en la misma escuela donde va mi hijo, en el salon de kinder, iba yo saliendo de la escuela e iba yo camino a casa de mi Hermana porque ella cuidaba a mia en ese entonces.... Semanas antes de esto, Andy habia estado muy enfermo, Andy es el tipo de persona que ha hecho ejercicio toda su vida, iba diario al gimnasio, jugaba soccer dos o tres veces por semana y todo el tiempo era muy active, pero en ese entonces dejo de ir al gimnasio porque se empezo a sentir muy enfermo, recuerdo que una noche estaba con mucha temperature, sudando muchisimo por las noches y la tos que tenia era horrible... al dia siguiente le hice una cita con un medico general porque llevaba yo dias diciendole que fuera y no me hacia caso... por fin fue a la cita un Diciembre 16 del 2013... iba yo manejando a casa de mi Hermana Jona cuando suena mi telefono y era Andy diciendome... donde estas? y yo manejando... me dice, me puedes llamar cuando llegues a casa de Jona? desde ese entonces sabia que algo no andaba bien, mi miedo mi estres sabia que algo estaba por pasar, me fui llore y llore todo el camino hacia casa de mi Hermana, sentia sabia que lo peor estaba por venir... llegue a casa de mi Hermana y en eso vuelve a sonar el telefono, era Andy diciendome, quieres que te diga ahorita o  me espero? y yo no ya dime de una vez estoy super estresada me dice es que me  encontraron algo  pequenito en mi pecho, un tumor de 11 centimetros j unto a mi Corazon y otro 5cm en mi pulmon derecho, me diec pero tengo que colgar porque el otro doctor quiere hablar conmigo.. colgo, y yo un que??? cpomo un tumor? le dije a Jona lo que pasaba y tuve que salirme de su casa porque no queria que mi hija me viera asi... Sali al patio de enfrente de la casa de mi Hermana, a gritar, a llorar, de hecho hasta vomite de dolor, lo primero que hice fue llamarle a mi mama en Mexico y contarle lo que estaba pasando, mi pobre madre queriendome dar animos no pudo mas que llorar conmigo, finalmente ella me calmo y me ayudo para que me fuera a la casa pues iba yo a verme ahi con Andy...... Llegue a la casa, puse a mia a que s eechara un coyotito y en eso llego Andy, no hicimos nada mas que abrazarnos, llore y llore y me abrazo  aun mas, nos fuimos  para mi cuarto y juntos nos arrodillamos a orar, oramos y oramos y volvimos a orar aun mas... que dolor sentia en mi Corazon, no lo voy a negar, estaba yo enojada, estaba yo furiosa, estaba yo triste, todo el sentimiento malo que pueda existir lo tenia en mi Corazon, no queria que iniciara el ano no queria saber nada de nadie estaba yo destruida...

Los dias pasaron y el ano inicio, las quimioterapias y tratamientos iniciaron, y junto con ellas mi testimonio hacia nuestro padre celestial crecio y crecio, el me sano, el me quito todos esos sentimientos, el me curo a mi tambien pues en mi Corazon hoy no existe mas que gratitude

Cancer hoy te quiero decir que te doy las gracias por todo lo que me has traido a mi vida  Cancer, gracias por ayudarme a acercarme mas a mi esposo, gracias por haberme ayudado a tener a mi major amigoa  mi lado 24 horas al dia, Cancer gracias por haberme permitido encontrar a un buen amigo en mi cunado Ben, gracias por haberme dado cuenta de cuantas personas me aman, Cancer te  debo muchas cosas, gracias por haberme ayudado a sanar mi Corazon, gracias pr haberme hecho mas humilde, mas caritativa, gracias por haberme traido todas esas bendiciones que hemos recibido, gracias por toda la felicidad que hemos podiudo vivir en estea no, sin ti nada de eso hubiera sido possible, hoy, hoy te doy las gracias

Pasaremos una Hermosa e inolvidable Navidad juntos en casa, y no hay nada major que eso
Con carino
Leyla
Feliz Navidad

PD Perdon por las faltas como siempre, ando a la Carrera

Andy has hit rock bottom. TOCANDO FONDO

I wrote this one day ago... and sorry I don´t have any more pictures to share, not a good moment for take pictures right now...

Well, the doctors were right when they told us everything that was going to happen with Andy when we were getting ready for his transplant. They told us exactly what was going to happen. It is one thing knowing it and another actually living it...

I have had my moments where I feel like I can’t do this anymore, my moments when I feel scared and want to run and run and never stop. I have had my moments where no tears come from my eyes anymore. I also had my good moments and there are more good than bad where I know that he is going to be okay, where I am strong and ready to keep fighting and where I am confident that he will be fine.

Andy honestly is not doing good right now. I have never seen him like this. Even that last time when he was very sick he was not like this. The doctors came today and said he is at his lowest point right now. Nothing in his body is working, nothing. His immune system is gone, his white cells, red cells, potassium, magnesium, his everything is gone... His heart rate has been so high. The highest has been 150 when the normal is 60 to a 100. His oxygen was so low yesterday that they have him plugged in to the vitals machine and it kept beeping last night every time he wasn’t breathing normally. My heart was so scared and I haven't gotten any sleep at all, but he made it through another night... His nausea is more under control but now his problem is that he has sores all over inside his esophagus, his stomach, and they think this is giving him an infection because he has high fevers too. He has other complications that I’d rather not address right now. He is also not eating, not drinking, not talking, not walking; he has been in the bed for the past few days. He can’t take any medicine by mouth so everything is through the IV... 

He is also getting a platelets transfusion every day and 2 red cells (just blood) transfusions every day. He is plugged in to a pain med machine where he can push this button every time he needs it because he is in so so much pain, thanks to the sores that he has all over...

I am sitting here and thinking how much I miss him, how much it hurts me to see him like this. I love him so much! I miss his laugh, I miss talking to my best friend, I miss his hugs, his look, I miss everything about him and I can’t explain how hard it is to see someone that you love in so much pain... But I know that there is someone that perfectly understands how Andy is feeling. Heavenly Father knows exactly how Andy is feeling and I know He is helping him during this time. I also feel His arms around me. I am grateful for your prayers. I know a lot of people also pray for me and I am thankful for that. Some days I wake up and pray to have the strength that I need to be able to help him, to make him feel loved...


My biggest satisfaction is when he says few words, and those words are always positive. When he tells me “Thank you, I don´t need anything and anyone else but you and my kids”, those few words keep me going. Or when he opens his eyes and sends me a kiss, or when he smiles for one second before his eyes close, or when my kids want to Skype with him every day and he does what he can to open his eyes for two seconds and waves at them...

I never thought I would appreciate all those small things like I do now. I never thought I was going to be so excited for small things like this, but I am now. Like I said in a Facebook post, I am grateful for life, I am grateful for the air, for the sun, for the peace that I feel in this hospital room. I am grateful for the few minutes that I get to spend with my kids...


All the nurses here like Andy, they keep telling me he is such a nice guy, he is so positive, and do you know why they say this? It’s because he never complains about anything. Nothing, never, no matter how many times he was throwing up blood, no matter how bad his pain is, he has never said something negative. He has never said I am done, or why me, or I can´t do this anymore. Never! On the other hand for example today, I was holding his hand and I was telling him , “Mi vida I am so sorry that you have to go through this.” He looked at me, squeezed my hand and said softly, “It’s okay. I will be okay...” Quietly started crying just to see how strong he is. He truly is my hero! He is such an example for me and for so many others, that no matter what life brings you, you never give up, no matter how dark everything looks, you never quit...


The doctors said the next 5 days are going to be even worse, I can´t imagine what can be worse than this, but they said so. After 5 more days he will slowly start to get feeling better, his immune system slowly is going to come back and they are going to help him with everything that he needs so he can make it through this...

Harder days are about to come. I just pray that I can be strong for him, I pray that his pain can be less and less, I pray that he can stay as positive as he is right now, I pray that my kids can know how much I love them and miss them..


You guys I know I always talk amazing things about Andy, but even before he had Cancer I had nothing but good things to say about him. Seriously he is such an amazing guy, I don’t have even one bad thing to say about him. He has touched so many lives in his 30 years, he has so many friends, everyone has something good to say about Andy, everywhere I go I find someone that comes to me and say, “Hey I know Andy, he is amazing!” and I feel so blessed to be his wife.


Like I said, more hard things are coming our way and it’s going to get worse before it gets any better, but he will make it, he wants to make it and he will...

We love you!
This afternoon his oxygen and heart rate seem a little better, but now we are facing a new challenge, his nose started bleeding and this is because his platelets are really low. So here we go again with another platelets transfusion. Today I can feel the spirit so strong in Andy’s room. Maybe I changed my attitude, maybe I prayed more than yesterday, or maybe my hard or scary feelings went away today, but today I feel good, I feel grateful, I feel loved... I was talking to Andy’s nurses for a long time, for like half an hour, they started asking me about how I met Andy, how we discovered that he had Cancer, and I started talking about his life, about everything that we have been through.. it has been a lot! When I was talking about it and thinking about it I realized we have gotten pretty far, we have had so many trials, so many experiences, so many problems, so many blessings, and I realized that once again, we wouldn’t have been able to do all this without our love for our Heavenly Father and His love for us. Right now I am sitting in a peaceful room, it almost feels like I am at the LDS Temple, listening to LDS hymns and looking at Andy rest peacefully and the only thing I can think and feel is how much we are loved. I can´t believe how much pain and suffering Jesus went through. I can´t imagine how He felt, I am so grateful that He died for us, I am so grateful that He knew that we were going to have this trial and that Heavenly father has never left our side... thanks again for your prayers, it sounds like I say it all the time, but if you were here sitting with me, you would be able to realize that I do feel your prayers, that Andy does feel your prayers and love and once again we couldn´t keep going without them...

Today December 2nd... Andy´s breathing got bad, they were worried and sent him for some x rays, ct scans and all kind of tests to see what is going on, the Doctor just came to tell me that he does have an infection and that his right long has fluids, they will keep him with antibiotics and breathing treatments and Andy has to work hard to fight this new challenge, he is doing his best, the next few days are going to be even harder but once again, we know he will be okay... 

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EN ESPAÑOL

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ANDY HA TOCADO FONDO

No traducire todo exactamente como lo escribi arriba y disculpente si tengo faltas ortograficas, no tengo mucho tiempo para componerlas ni para traducir...

Hemos pasado dias muy dificiles, el transplante de Andy fue hace 7 dias y como ya nos habian dicho los doctores, muchas complicaciones iban a venir despues del trasnplante..

A pesar de que se nos habia advertido y explicado todas las complicaciones que iban a venir, una cosa es saberlas y otra cosa es vivirlas, yo estaba segura que iba a ser dificil pero jamas me imagine que TAL dificil iba a ser,,,

El transplante fue bien, pero todos estos efectos secundarios que tiene no son por el transplante sino por la quimioterapia que tuvo tan fuerte, practicamente su cuerpo esta muerto lo unico que sirve es su corazon, sus celulas rojas no existen, no tiene celulas blancas, potasio bajo magnesio bajo  sodio bajo, no puede comer, no puede tomar agua, lo tienen con alimento artificial, no puede casi caminar, no puede pararse casi, no puede ni pasar un jarabe de medicina..

Hace unos dias inicio con vomito pero con sangre, eso fue muy dificil, me asusto mucho verlo y saber que realmente no estaba llendole muy bien, despues de eso le empezaron a dar transfusiones de sangre, osea de celulas rojas asi como tambien de plaquetas porque por eso los vomitos con sangre, como no se componia le siguieron poniendo mas transplantes de plaquetas ya que despues lo que inicio fue sangrado en la nariz, osea casi casi un estornudo, una tosesita, oun esfuerzo grande puede hacer que se desangre

Tambien no podia comer nada porque todo su esofago, su estomago, su pecho, todo esta leno de heridas, asi como si fueran aftas pero internas entonces esta en mucho, pero absolutamente mucho dolor

Ya que le controlaron la hemorragia con las transfusiones de plaquetas, hoy amanecio respirando muy mal, con mucha dificultad y su pecho chillandole asi que lo llevaron a hacer tomografias, rayox x, escanes y todo tipo de analisis para ver que es lo que estaba pasando ahora... me acaban de avisar que sus pulmones tienen fluidos e infeccion asi es que le seguiran con antibiotico y tratamientos para la respiracion para ahora tratar esto

Dicen que vienen dias peores, que los proximos 4 o 5 dias las cosas se pondran aun peores, la verdad yo no puedo imaginar que pueda ser peor que todo lo que le esta pasando ahora, no me quiero ni imaginar que es lo que peor significa, pero sigo con fe, sigo orando, sigo pensando que todo pasara..

No se como le vamos a hacer cuando tenga que venir para su proxima quimio y proximo transplante, realmente no me quiero ni estresar por eso ahorita, ahorita lo unico que quiero pensar es salir de esta...

Tengo mucha fe, se que Dios esta conmigo, se que me ama, se que el es el unico que comprende el dolor de Andy, nadie mas que el sabe que tanto dolor y sufrimiento Andy esta pasando y se que sera misericordioso con el y que Dios sabe y tiene un plan especifico para Andy

Lo amo mucho, me duele mucho verlo asi,me siento impotente de no poder ayudarlo mas, el es muy valiente, jamas se ha quejado, jamas ha dicho porque me pasa esto, o me duele, o ya no aguanto, al contrario... el otro dia me ganaron las lagrimas y llore sin querer frente de el, pense que estaba dormido y me vio y me dice... ayy mi vida ya deja de llorar por favor acuerdate que voy a estar bien,... y su energia positiva y sus ganas de vivir y el amor que tiene por sus hijos lo van a sacar a adelante...

Breakfast with Santa. Saturday December 13th

Breakfast with Santa, Saturday December 13th from 9 am to 11 am...

Boulder Creek Park, next to Boulder Creek Elementary school

Please join us in helping the Moss family raise funds while Andy battles cancer for the second time.
We have so many things for your kids to enjoy.
There will be pictures with Santa Claus, train rides, a bounce house, raffles, prizes, breakfast food, music and more!!! Please purchase your tickets in advance to eliminate any long lines. Tickets are $5 per person.

For tickets please contact:
Liz Valenzuela 480-202-0643
Lacey Smith Lenahan 480-371-6373
Or Barbara Arroyo 480-203-8100

If you would like to donate an item please contact Rickelle Mendez 602-571-6960, raffle items are needed.

http://mossfamily1.blogspot.com/

Chemos didn´t work..wait...they did!! la traduccion de español estaabajo

Chemo didn't work, wait it did!!

Like I said in one of my posts, I had two horrible days. I don't even want to remember all the fear that I felt. I thought I was ready for anything, I was sure that my faith was stronger than anything else, but I guess we all fall and the important thing is to get up again...

Andy had a PET scan last week, so we found out on Monday that the chemo didn’t work at all, that the tumors instead of getting smaller were getting bigger and that the chances of “curing” the cancer were almost none... can you believe how we felt???? My entire world went down. We got home right after that and I tried to be strong for the kids, and for Andy. A day went by and still my heart was hurting so much. We tried to spend a lot of time with the kids, we put our Christmas tree up like every year, drinking hot cocoa, eating Mexican bread and listening to Mexican Christmas music... the day after we went and looked for Santa so we could take our year picture with him like we had the past 6 years. Even though we had an amazing time with the kids I just couldn't be 100 % happy...

The next day we had an appointment with an important doctor. She used to work with one of the doctors that is huge in the germ of cell cancer treatment in New York City. She had just arrived in Arizona and we were anxious to hear what she said, even though we already knew what she was going to say..

On our way to this appointment, we took a taxi so I could leave the car to my sister and my mom. We knew the driver because he’d driven us before and as usual Andy made a new friend and he really likes Andy... in the taxi Andy and I were not talking at all, just holding hands. The driver asked, “Why are you guys so quiet today? Is everything okay?” and I told him we got bad news, that Andy’s chemo didn’t work and the tumors got bigger instead of smaller.

I am sorry if you are tired of my spiritual experiences, but the reason I write them is because I hope someone in a similar situation to us can read this. I also hope that I can go back one day to this blog and just fill my heart and my kids with all these amazing experiences that Andy and I are having...

Anyway, after I told the driver about what was happening everything was silent and after few minutes he said, “I just want to tell you that I have a testimony that God lives (he is not Mormon). I know that he is aware of your pain... I know you think your trial is huge, that your problem is so big that you can’t even wrap your mind around it, but for God Andy, for God your problem is nothing, for Him your sickness is nothing, He is so powerful and so amazing that He can heal you easily. The doctors can tell you one thing, but God has the last word, I understand that you two feel sad right now but please, please don’t forget that God has a plan for you guys! I felt it since I met you. I feel and know that you still have something important to do in this earth and I know that today you will witness a miracle, you will see God’s hand right in front of your eyes. Have faith Andy, have faith Leyla... me, my family and my entire church is praying for you Andy and prayers are answered you will see.”

Obviously I was crying, we just told him thank you for his words, we got down of the Taxi and waited for our appointment. We finally saw the doctor, such a nice lady. She speaks Spanish too, and she was telling us how chemo didn’t work because the tumor was now 3.2 cm, so it was getting bigger because before it was 9mm (almost 1 cm) and the other one was 9 mm instead of 4 point something and I was like wait, what??? I perfectly remember numbers, I can forget about a lot of things (I really do, I am always forgetting things) but the sizes of Andy’s tumors are stuck in my head. I told her no way his tumor before chemo wasn't almost 1 cm. His tumor was 5 point something so if it is now 3.2 that means is getting smaller! I also told her the other one if now is 9mm it was 4 point something before so that means it is working! And his tumor markers (the levels where they see how active your cancer is) is also WAY lower right now, chemo is working! She was SO surprised and what had happened is that they didn’t have the last of Andy’s scans since it was done in another hospital...


Like my mom said, who is going to give me my tears back? It was such an amazing feeling, the driver was so right; we were witnesses of Heavenly Father´s plan. I feel so bad that I had fear in my heart, but like I said I am back on track. I guess what matters most is how you get up and how your faith gets stronger after you witness miracles, because for me that’s what this was. After we were told, “You guys have almost no chance to make it” to “You have 40% chance to be cured” That’s a huge difference!

We take the 40% chance to make it, I know that he will make it...

Today he started chemo, they ended up putting the PIC line in his arm to do chemo, he started this morning and he was doing great until this afternoon. He is so sick (nausea and vomiting) that it breaks my heart. I wish I could do something to help him, I wish I could fix him and make him feel better...

We will be at the hospital for Thanksgiving! But hopefully we can go home for Christmas... he will be having his second chemotherapy ( this type like the strong regimen) starting on December 29th, and then after that he will be having a second bone marrow transplant.. the doctor told us that most likely he will also be having a second surgery, but we have to wait first to see how these tumors are shrinking and if his tumor markers go down... they also told us that if after the bone marrow transplant the Cancer comes back, pretty much there would be nothing else that they can do. They are so straight to the point that it’s overwhelming. They told us if it doesn't work pretty much we will let you go home and enjoy whatever you have left. Seriously? It will work, he will make it, he will win this battle, he will raise our kids, we will finish that bucket list, he will and I will.

Today he is very sick lots of nausea and he says that this chemo is worse than the 6 that he had before... Please keep praying for him

I will try to keep updating this blog, honestly this blog is so helpful and is a healing tool for me.

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EN ESPAÑOL

No sirvieron las quimios, mentira si sirvieron!

Osea!!!! que cosas, como pueden hacerle algo asi a alguien? casi me muero de tristeza, resulta que el lunes tuvimos una dicta aqui en el hospital y nos dijeron que las quimios de Andy no sirvieron, claro que mi mundo se derrumbo, nos dijeron que los tumores en vez de haberse hecho chicos estaban creciendo, que definitivamente todo iba a ser mas dificil

Pero como? que? no podia creerlo, por mas que no quise perder la fe, senti que mi undo se derrumbo, mujer de poca fe me digo a mi misma, no que tan fuerte? no que confias en dios? me supongo que todos tenemos esos momentos en la vida donde dudamos de dios, donde perdemos la fe, donde caemos, pero lo mas importante es la manera en la que nos levantemos..

Pasaron dos dias donde literalmente no vivi, no podia creer que eso estaba pasandonos, que tanto sufrimiento para andy y para nada, tratamos de disfrutar el tiempo con nuestros hijos, pusimos el arbolito de Navidad adelantado nos tomamos la foto con Santa, comimos, reimos, bailamos para hacer q los ninos disfrutaran, pero no pudimos estar bien...

Antes de ir a que lo internaran, tuvimos que pedir un taxi, aqui en Arizona los taxis no son muy comunes, de hecho casi nadie los toma, pero lo pedimos porque le tuve que dejar mi camioneta a mi hermana para que todo el chamaquerio pueda andar comodo :) entonces pedimos al taxi, este senor ha llevado a Andy antes, entonces lo conoce, claro como siempre Andy hace amigos a donde ponga un pie... y nos subimos y nos dice, ahora si vienen muy callados, pues que les pasa? le digo es que nos dieron muy malas noticias, nos dijeron que las quimios no sirvieron de absolutamente nada! y que se queda callado, todo callado de repente empieza a hablar y nos dice, no tengan miedo ady y leyla, se que para ustedes en estos momentos sus problemas son inmensos, se que en este momento ustedes creen que esto que les esta pasando es enorme y no acabara, pero para Dios, para dios este problema no es nada, para dios su problema es tan pequeño, para dios no hay imposibles, los doctores te pueden decir mil cosas, pero dios tiene la ultima palabra, los doctores no saben que dios escucha oraciones, no saben cuanta gente esta atras de ti, para dios eso es pequeño y te testifico que hoy veras milagros pasar ante tus ojos, veras que tienes q seguir teniendo fe.. nos dijo mas cosas y claro que yo no aguante y llore como niña chiquita.. le dimos las gracias y nos bajamos

Tuvimos una cita de nuevo en el hospital, antes de que internaran a Andy, con una Doctora que trabajo con el inventor de las quimioterapias especializadas en el tipo de cancer que Andy tiene, para esto estamos en el mejor hospital del pais, los mejores doctores, la mejor tecnologia, por eso el escuchar de la voz de esta nueva doctora, lo siento pero no funcionaron las quimios, fue horrible, me dice la doctora, lo que pasa que el tumor junto a su corazon crecio de 9 milimetros a 3.2 centímetros y el de su pulmon de no existir a 9 milimetros y yo que? claro que no, yo puedo olvidar todo pero el tamaño de los tumores de Andy los tengo grabados en mi mente le dije, el tumor junto al corazon era de cinco centimetros y algo y ahora es de 3.2 y el del pulmon era de 4. y algo centimetros y si ahora es de 9 milimetros quiere decir que si esta funcionando las quimios!!!!! la doctora se quedo en shock, me dice pero como? si aqui tengo los resultados de los dos escanes, le digo no, no esta viendo que en medio de esos dos escanes Andy tuvo otro escan donde los dos tumores eran mas grandes, eso quiere decir q si esta funcionando, eso quiere decir q si tenemos posibilidades, y dice dejame checar, llamo al radiologo etc y si, fue un error ya que el escan el que yo le dije a la doctora fue hecho en otro hospital y ellos no tenian los records!!

En serio? como diria mi mama y mis lagrimas quien me las regresa??? pero una vez mas confirme ante mis propios ojos un milagro de Dios, su voz en mi cabeza no la podia quitar diciendome, ten fe Leyla, no te olvides lo que te he prometido ten  fe, no dudes, aqui estoy contigo, pase lo q pase tu no dudes yo aqui estoy contigo, que razon tenia el taxista, cai en el miedo

Hoy Andy inicio la primera quimio de estas fuertes y horribles que le van a dar, super fuertes, en la mañana le fue mas o menos pero ahorita si se puso muy mal de asco y vomito, por mas que le dan medicamentos para controlar el asco de todas formas se siente mal, pobre de mi Andy, lo amo tanto, que daria por poder quitarle todo este dolor y sufrimiento por el que esta pasando, en serio de verdad, para los que no lo conocen, es un hombre tan bueno, tan trabajador, responsable, buen padre, buen hijo, buen esposo, buen empleado, de verdad no le feo ni un defecto, y no solo yo lo digo, Andy es un ser humano muy especial, donde quiera que vaya hace amigos, con quien quiera que hable cae bien, definitivamente la loca de la casa soy yo jaja, el es tan bueno que ni si quiera se queja en estos momentos, a pesar de su dolor siempre preocupado por mi, por sus hijos... solo se que todo este sufrimiento pasara y pronto todo podra ser como antes

Getting ready for transplant !!!! ¡A veces nos olvidamos lo hermosoque es el cielo!

Prayers prayers and more prayers for Andy Moss ... He is having a PET scan right now, this scan will tell us how big/small his tumors are, and if cancer hasn't spread ... We won't know the results until Wednesday! I found this picture of this shirt that his awesome uncle Von Madsen sent him when Andy was done with cancer the first time...  #frickcancer #mormonshatecancertoo  ... 

I wrote this blog post about a week ago... Before collection day 2... They got 8.2 millions cells total and we are SO excited! 

COLLECTION OF STEM CELLS, GETTING READY FOR TRANSPLANT

This transplant process is so hard to explain. I have been learning a lot and every day I am more and more grateful for Doctors, nurses, technology, education and everything else that makes it possible for patients like Andy to have access to an amazing thing; a bone marrow transplant.

So what they are doing now is collecting his stem cells. Today is day two, yesterday they collected 4.2 million cells and they need 8 million cells in order to do two transplants... If you are a nurse and I am saying something wrong, forgive me. I’ve gotten too much information and I hope I am getting everything right. Anyway, they got Andy ready with a shot every day for the past almost 7 days. This shot makes the cells go crazy and reproduce (the white cells) and then the night before the collection they put a shot to make the cells that went crazy and that are in his bone marrow, to go in the blood so they can collect the cells from the blood the day after... once he is ready for collection, they plug him to an awesome machine. This machine, somehow separates red cells, white cells and collects the stem cells.. Isn't that amazing?!

This little bag has all the stem cells, they keep that bag and the rest of his blood goes back to his body through the thing that he has on his chest...

Once they had collected the stem cells, they sent it somewhere and another machine counts the cells. They said they determine how many stem cells he needs taking into account his weight and the type of chemo that he will be getting... For Andy they need 8 million stem cells... so we had to come back today for collection day two, hopefully they get what they need today, if not, he will need the shot that produces cells and then tonight the other shot that makes the cells to go in the blood... he has been plugged into this machine forever and he can’t get down. Not even to go pee! But he is doing amazing.

We won’t find out until tonight if they got enough cells or if he needs to get more collection tomorrow. After this collection they freeze the cells and keep them for his transplant. Luckily they will be getting enough for two transplants so for the next one he won’t be needing to do all this collection process again... 

After the collection, we have tons of appointments over here, labs, doctor appointment and then he will be admitted to the hospital for 6 long and stressful days of chemo. After 6 days of chemo he will have his transplant and then he will have to stay at the hospital for at least 21 days. So we are talking about 30 days or more over here after he gets admitted... We will spend Thanksgiving here but hopefully be able to, like my favorite Christmas song, “be home for Christmas”. Then we have to come back for transplant two...

I got this from the internet to understand a little bit more about Andy’s bone marrow transplant process:

Bone marrow transplantation and peripheral blood stem cell transplantation are procedures that restore stem cells that were destroyed by high doses of chemotherapy and/or radiation therapy.

After being treated with high-dose anticancer drugs and/or radiation, the patient receives the harvested stem cells, which travel to the bone marrow and begin to produce new blood cells.

A “tandem transplant” involves two sequential courses of high-dose chemotherapy and stem cell transplant.

Chemotherapy and radiation therapy generally affect cells that divide rapidly. They are used to treat cancer because cancer cells divide more often than most healthy cells. However, because bone marrow cells also divide frequently, high-dose treatments can severely damage or destroy the patient’s bone marrow. Without healthy bone marrow, the patient is no longer able to make the blood cells needed to carry oxygen, fight infection, and prevent bleeding. BMT and PBSCT replace stem cells destroyed by treatment. The healthy, transplanted stem cells can restore the bone marrow’s ability to produce the blood cells the patient needs. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/bone-marrow-transplant

It will be a long process but we are excited and have faith that after this, Andy’s cancer will be gone for good.... He has already lost 35 lbs, but this week he finally started to feel better and hungry so he gained about 5 lbs back! His hair is coming back brown/blondish but it will be gone again with the next chemo. He already made friends at the place that we are staying (next to the hospital). All of the nurses over here are amazing and super nice.. we love this place so much that one of Andy’s plans is to work really hard when he is done with chemo so that he can retire not too old and we can come volunteer at the Mayo clinic... 

He also already started making his bucket list! I am getting super excited with all the plans that we have for the future, I can’t wait to help him cross each thing of that list!!! 

 I need to thank my sister again... My kids love her so much they call her mom they call me Jona lol david asked her are we going to my moms house? He thinks they moved to Jona's house, it makes me happy that they feel like it's their home too... This is a picture that I took of my sisters family  :) she is so beautiful!

Thanks again for all your love and support, we are very excited for Andy’s run this Saturday! We will see you there (well at least me and the kids, I am not sure if Andy will be able to come)... 

Let’s keep praying!

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En español...

Hoy le harán un estudio a Andy para ver como va el cáncer si no se ha esparcido si se han hecho más chicos los tumores etc.. Se los encargo en sus oraciones.. Encontré esta foto tomada antes de q nos enteráramos q el cáncer había regresarlo q dice también los mormones odian al cáncer :) escribí este post hace como una semana pero apenas pide subirlo

Tantas cosas han pasado desde que salimos del hospital.. Andy termino sus quimioterapias hace ya algunos dias, aun recuerdo el dia que llegamos a la casa, mis hijos no sabían que íbamos a ir porque no me gusta darles falsas esperanzas pues a veces llegamos, a veces no, pero este dia, llegamos Andy y yo despues de varios dias en el hospital, tocamos la puerta y ahi estaban neustros hijos, tan emocionados, abrazaron a Andy, con tanto amor que practicamente todos los que estabamos ahi no pudimos contener las lagrimas de la emoción

Este proceso ha sido tan dificil, tan desgastante, tan emocional que  a veces aun no creo que todo esto nos este pasando a nosotros, a mi Andy.... ya se que miles de veces he repetido cuando amo a Andy, pero asi es, nuestro amor es algo inexplicable, estoy totalmente convencida que antes de venir a este mundo nos conocimos y los dos sabiamos que todo esto nos iba a pasar, se que tanto el como yo tomamos caminos diferentes en ciertos momentos de nuestras vidas, pero todo lo que pasamos no fue masque para prepararnos para el dia que nos conocimos, para poder reconocer lo que el amor verdadero significa...

Tal vez muchos no entiendan que es lo que le estan haciendo a Andy, que es un transplante de celulas madres, porque yo tampoco lo entendia y ni sabia yo que era hasta ahora.. lo que sucede es que la medula espinal de Andy no tiene cancer, es esta medula la que produce estas celulas madres en tu cuerpo, estas celulas madres son las que controlan el resto de tus celulas en el cuerpo, gracias a ella se dividen en plaquetas, emoglobina, etc, espero no equivocarme en la explicacion, y la medula osea de Andy esta produciendo celulas limpias, sin cancer, entonces este proceso lo que hace es agarrar las celulas madres de su medula espinal, colectarlas, congelaras y de ahi  hacer el transplante por medio de la sangre, lo que hacen es que le daran una quimioterapia fuerte para que su sistema inmunologico desaparezca, apra matar todas las celulas en su cuerpo, practicamente el cuerpo de Andy estara ¨muerto¨por unos dias, es ahi cuando le hacen el transplante y le meten las celulas nuevas que le recolectaron y congelaron, este proceso lo que hara es que su cuerpo podra tener celulas nuevas libres de cancer, celulas fuertes y listas para no permitir que las celulas de cancer regresen, es por eso que le haran dos de este tipo de transplantes, uno en unas proximas semanas, de ahi se esperaran como dos meses y le haran otro para evitar que el cancer no regrese esperemos jamas

Andy y yo antes de que este cancer llegara a nuestras vidas, eramos una familia se puede decir normal, siempre hemos sido muy unidos, felices, viajando, jugando con los niños, trabajando, mucho ejercicio, iglesia, familia, practicamente llevabamos una vida como cualquier otra persona, pero cuando este cancer nos llego todo cambio, la primera vez fue dificil y aprendimos mucho, pero esta segunda vez, esta segunda vez todo nuestro mundo se transformo...

He aprendido a ver el mundo de otro color, he aprendido a disfrutar el aire que respiro, he aprendido a valorar lo importante que es la familia, los amigos, pero lo mas importante, por fin he comprendido porque vine a este mundo, por fin he comprendido el verdadero proposito de estar en esta tierra, el proposito de mi Padre Celestial y sus promesas... me siento tan feliz de tener a Dios en mi vida, de tener su apoyo, su amor, sus brazos alrededor de los mios, con el, mis miedos  por supuesto que aun existen, pero gracias a el ese miedo no dura, ese miedo se va, ese miedo se convierte en fe... no voy a mentir, hay muchas veces que aun lloro en silencio, hay muchas veces que aun me pregunto porque le esta pasando esto a el que es un hombre tan bueno, pero mi Padre Celestial me contesta todas esas preguntas...

Andy sigue con tan buen animo, sigue tan positovo, claro no es perfecto y ha tenido sus momentos de miedo como cualquier ser humano, pero en general ha sido tan positivo que realmente me sorprende, tiene tanta buena energia positiva y tanta fe que contagia... 

Quisiera hablar un poco de la familia, de mi familia, mi mama, mi papa, mi hermana y mi hermano... que haria yo sin ellos? que seria de mis hijos sin ellos? que seria de mi sin ellos? no me lo puedo ni imaginar, mi familia ha sido el pilar mas grande ene ste momento, mi familia es la mano de dios ayudandome a sobre pasar esta prueba, mi familia es mi roca es mi fuerza es mi todo, mi mama ha sido un gran apoyo en estos momentos

Muchos de ustedes no saben pero Jona no vive en la misma ciudad que yo vivo, ella vive como a 40 minutos de mi casa (con trafico) y a pesar de la distancia ella viaja diario a mi casa para poder llevar a mis hijos a la escuela, regresa por ellos cuando salen de la escuela, de ahi se los lleva, les da de comer,  si tienen practicas o partidos regresa de nuevo ahi por mi casa para llevarlos a donde tengan que ir, osea como quien dice se la pasa manejando todos los dias viajando para que mis hijos puedan tener una vida lo mas cercano a lo normal, pero no solo sirve para lleevarlos, les da de comer, los alista, pero lo mas importante, los adora, los quiere tanto, los abraza, los comprende, los chiquea, los ama como si yo estuviera ahi, y diganme, eso con que lo puedo pagar? jamas ni en el resto de mi vida podre pagarle eso a Jona,

 ella es mas que una hermana, es mi mejor amiga, es la mama de mis hijos, todos necesitan a algiuien como Jona en sus vidas, gracias a ella puedo estar junto a Andy apoyandolo en todo lo que necesite, cuidandolo, porque me puedo ir tranquila sabiendo que mis hijos estan bien con mi hermana, al igual que su esposo, admiro su apoyo con ella, el cuidar y tener a mis hijos en su casa no es facil, se que han invadido su privacidad y aun a pesar de todo hasta me prestan su carro y todo lo que sea necesario, Ben y Jona jamas podre pagarles todo lo que hacen por nosotros...

En estos momentos Andy esta en el proceso de preparacion de su transplante de medula osea, se supone que este transplante ayudara a que el cancer en su cuerpo jamas regrese, no podemos mas que tener fe que asi sera..

Aqui abajo agregare un post que mi hermano puso en su Facebook... llore y llore cuando lo lei, amo a mi familia! gracias por tu apoyo y sus oraciones!!!

¡A veces nos olvidamos lo hermoso que es el cielo!

Solo se puede entender esto cuando estas viviendo de cerca la desesperación de estar sedado por los medicamentos que implica una quimioterapia, de sentir los mareos, el asco, el dar una vuelta en el corredor del pasillo de un hospital y sentir que corriste un maratón, ni siquiera lo sé, solamente fueron palabras de mi mejor amigo al estar en una cama con todas esas bolsas de ifosfamida y cisplantino, los saltos cada 30 min y cada hora cuando una persona con aspecto de fumigador con una maquina digital tomaba el codigo de barras de la pulsera de Andy Moss . Solo para que imaginen un poco, sonaba en el ipad la mejor música country y a contraluz una batalla tremenda en una cama de hospital, y a los pies de la cama yo, tratando de ofrecer mis manos en un apretón de pies y con los ojos llorosos y un salbutamol (medicamento para el asma) en la mano tratando de ocultar el sentimiento por ese cabron que es mi mejor amigo. Realmente quería ofrecerle mi vena cefálica si así se pudiera aminorar el sufrimiento; ser un espectador de una lucha de esa magnitud es un desgaste emocional, no puedo imaginar el desgaste de mi hermana que lleva mucho tiempo a los pies del amor de su vida.

Pasaban y pasaban las horas y los dias hasta que vimos llegar por la puerta a aquel guerrero, como el regreso de un gladiador herido ovacionado por sus hijos, no pude evitar soltarme en llanto al verle a el un par de lágrimas después de salir vencedor de aquella batalla abrazando a su hija que gritaba con el mas puro amor y sinceridad diciendo ¡Daaaaaddyyy!!!!! Daaaaaddy!!!! mi hermana Jonaneth Weight Leyla Primavera Moss y yo no pudimos evitar el nudo en la garganta y estar mas felices, las lágrimas se sentian desorientadas entre una mueca de alegria disfrazada del mas puro sentimiento de amor.

Han pasado los dias y se acercan dos transplantes de médula, y una quimio mas; ojalá se apoyara mas para poder estudiar y curar esta horrible enfermedad, tengo entendido que se necesitan muchos millones, lo cual a las mafias farmaceuticas no les conviene en lo absoluto la cura del cancer, creo que no solo lo contrae una persona, sino todos los miembros de la familia, es una enfermedad familiar realmente.

Estos días he vivido el mas puro amor entre hermanos, hijos, padres en su máxima expresión, he sido padre de 2 niños tremendos por 2 semanas, uno de ellos se volvió mi amigo como su padre.
Hoy por fin Andy salio a la calle por 2 horas, vio a su hijo entrenar baseball, y todos estabamos ahi disfrutando de una tarde maravillosa, de una tranquilidad que desde que era niño no sentía, no había ningún temor ni delincuencia en los parques ni nada, solo niños siendo felices y padres siendo orgullosos, fue un dia especial sentir el pasto, el aire, las risas y eso cambio mis planes de como vivir, de vivir al máximo, no importa nada, ni canciones, ni trabajo, ni dinero, esas cosas son puros egos, lo mas importante son las cosas pequeñas, lo que hay en casa, el amor, la familia, el respeto.
Este viaje esta terminando y esta pesadilla sé que acabará pronto, y no me queda mas que repetir las palabras de mi mejor amigo "Que bonito es el cielo, se me habia olvidado".  JOHNNY PAEZ