Well… I am not sure if this is true or seriously it’s just a bad bad dream… Last Friday September 19, Andy and me went to bed so late, we love to watch “our” Tv shows together so we couldn’t stop watching Scandal and we went to bed around 3 am…
Andy had a soccer game the next morning. He started playing at this soccer league with some old friends and his game was at 8am far in Tempe… his alarm went off and he didn’t wake up, I remember I got up and told him, you are late for your game, and he said, “I think I won’t go I am tired.” I told him, “You should go and me and the kids will meet you there, they love to watch you play.” So he got ready and left for his game…
Andy had a soccer game the next morning. He started playing at this soccer league with some old friends and his game was at 8am far in Tempe… his alarm went off and he didn’t wake up, I remember I got up and told him, you are late for your game, and he said, “I think I won’t go I am tired.” I told him, “You should go and me and the kids will meet you there, they love to watch you play.” So he got ready and left for his game…
Me and the kids met him there, we got out of the car and I was pushing Mia in the stroller walking by the soccer field when I saw someone fall playing, well he actually didn’t fall, a guy from the other team, the orange team tackle him and totally on purpose made Andy fall down… and he couldn’t get up… I said, “Someone got hurt!” And David my 6 year old said, “That’s daddy!” Mia, my 3 year old, started freaking out because he wasn’t getting up. Finally, Andy got up and he came to say hi to us…
He said he hurt himself pretty bad, he had grass everywhere, his shoulder hurt and his hand was bleeding a little, but he said he was fine, he event went back to play after that.
The day after, Sunday September 21st we went to church and then we went to my friends house (Emily Sanchez) we had a great time there, he was happy laughing and the kids had a blast.
Monday September 22nd things just changed, he started having a hard time breathing, he had this pain that was getting worse and worse but he went to work like that. Monday night he couldn’t really breathe, he didn’t sleep or anything. He couldn’t lay down and the pain was awful. My brother in law Ben had to pick him up on Tuesday to go to work (Andy seriously doesn’t like to miss work) that morning. I told him, “I am picking you up.
We should go see the oncologist.” And we did. They were concerned and sent him to do some x-rays, the same day the doctor called us and told us that Andy’s lungs were collapsed. We were sure it was just because of the fall, so they say, you had an appointment for the 3rd week of October, we are going to move all your tests and labs for tomorrow, Wednesday, and just speed things up we want to know what’s going on… We went to the CT scan place, he was having such a hard time breathing, he had a fever and he couldn’t even talk, they did the CT scan and right after he was done, when he was walking out of the CT room he saw me and said, “I can’t breathe call 911.”
We should go see the oncologist.” And we did. They were concerned and sent him to do some x-rays, the same day the doctor called us and told us that Andy’s lungs were collapsed. We were sure it was just because of the fall, so they say, you had an appointment for the 3rd week of October, we are going to move all your tests and labs for tomorrow, Wednesday, and just speed things up we want to know what’s going on… We went to the CT scan place, he was having such a hard time breathing, he had a fever and he couldn’t even talk, they did the CT scan and right after he was done, when he was walking out of the CT room he saw me and said, “I can’t breathe call 911.”
I was yelling like crazy, “Someone call 911”, the doctor (he wasn’t our oncologist because we went to another office) came right away and he said the same - call 911. His oxygen dropped, it was just a nightmare, paramedics came and they took him to the hospital. (not the hospital that usually go to) He was there for two nights, no one couldn’t figure out why things were happening, he had to have a small procedure to drain all the fluids in his lung, his left lung was still collapsed…
Friday morning Andy’s oncologist called me and said, “Do whatever you can to take Andy out of the hospital, I need to see you guys right away.” That same day we left the hospital at 2:10 pm and drove straight from the hospital to the doctor’s office. Little did we know that our life was going to stop right there… The Doctor talked to us
“So we found two tumors, one is 5.5 cm and is the same one that we removed. It came back, and in ONE month grew 4.5 cm, the other tumor is also the same one in your left lung and that one is 4.5 cm… we have to start chemotherapy right away, you will need a bone marrow transplant and then you will have radiation at the end.” We will what? What did you say? I mean you are kidding right? Because it’s not funny I was thinking.. he kept talking and talking and talking (he is such a nice guy we love him) but my head was just not working right then… I lost it I totally lost it and started crying more than ever before, I was asking all these questions but I couldn’t even talk…
Andy wasn’t sad like I was, he was mad, he was FURIOUS, he was ready to punch someone, he was just mad mad mad… I have never been more sad in my life than Friday September 26… I had to calm down a little and went back to the room
. He is still with oxygen because his lung is still collapsed, but I am so very grateful with that guy that made him fall at soccer, if it wasn’t for that fall we wouldn’t find out about Andy’s Cancer until 3 more weeks, and who knows how big those tumors were going to be and who knows if other organs were going to be damaged… It is true that my heavenly Father loves me, he sent us to that game, he knew that we needed to hurry and find out that Cancer was back, this truly was a miracle in our eyes…
Andy will have a biopsy next Tuesday September 30th, he will have labs and tests and a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday, they will put a port on him on Thursday and he will start chemo on Friday October 3rd. He will do two cycles of chemotherapy, so this means, one week of chemo, each day its 8 hours a day and this is for 5 days, then he will have a 2 weeks “break” and then another cycle of chemo, after that he will need to go to the hospital and stay there for a bone marrow transplant, after that he will do radiation, so the doctor said this will take about 5 to 6 months…
This time I am not going to lie, I am so sad, I am devastated, I thought I was ready for something like this, I thought I was such a strong person after what happened to us the first time, but I guess I was wrong. I am scared, I am so so scared, I am so sad and my heart hearts to see him go through the same and this time worse, I am so sad for my kids, I am embarrassed to need help again, I am terrified of everything, I feel weak, I feel small and I am not sure if I can do this again Andy and the kids need me, I know I need to be strong and keep going but I feel like I just can’t anymore… I haven’t stop crying since then.
I can’t believe this is happening to us again, to my Andy I love him so so much I am so sorry that he has to do this again, like I told him I wish it was me and not him, I wish I could take all this pain away from him, I wish I could comfort him and make him feel better but I can’t. I know one day I will perfectly understand this trial, but right now my heart just hurts so very much.
I am grateful for all the love, prayers and support. I will keep this blog updated, so you can follow our family as we make our way through this trial.
EL CANCER De ANDY REGRESO
Querida familia y amigos, justo cuando pensamos que la pesadilla habia terminado tengo que decirles que el cancer de Andy regreso. Estamos devastados, no entendemos por que? Y no creo que exista una respuesta. El sabado 20 Andy fue a jugar futbol y durante el juego recibio un golpe que lo dejo tendido en suelo. El golpe no paso a mas en el momento y el fin de semana siguio sin complicaciones. El lunes Andy comenzo a tener problemas para respirar acompańado con dolor. Esa noche cuando regreso del trabajo no pudo dormir bien. El martes fuimos al oncólogo y le tomaron placas de los pulmones. Esa misma tarde nos llamaron porque los pulmones de Andy habian colapsado y decidieron adelantar todos los exámenes que tendría la tercera semana de octubre. El miércoles le hicieron un CT scan y después del examen tuvieron que trasladarlo de emergencia al hospital porque sus niveles de oxigeno bajaron al punto en que no podía respirar. Estuvimos en el hospital hasta el viernes y de ahí directo a la oficina del oncólogo. Encontraron 2 tumores que están creciendo y necesitamos empezar la quimioterapia de inmediato (viernes 3). Ademas Andy necesitara un trasplante de medula y radiación al final del tratamiento. El golpe durante el partido fue una bendición porque ganamos tiempo para combatir el cancer. El doctor y las enfermeras están casi tan tristes como nosotros pero optimistas. Yo ya no tengo mas lagrimas y Andy esta destrozado. Se que un día vamos a entender por quė, pero por ahora oren con nosotros para que tengamos la fortaleza de seguir con la prueba.
