Video of the last week of Chemotheraphy

(VIDEO at the end)

This past week has been one emotional week. We had so many experiences and we felt so much love from everyone, I can seriously say that I can almost touch the love that everyone is giving us, so many prayers, and so much love that we can’t even explain it…

This last week was Andy’s last week of chemotherapy, even though we know this doesn’t mean he is CANCER FREE this was such a Victory… the Doctor talked to us and he explained to us that the regimen that Andy was on is one of the most aggressive and strongest ones that they have out there; I mean 5 days a week 8 hours a day every three weeks for four cycles? I am so proud of Andy. He really was in so much pain, so much nausea, tired, horrible pain after his shot and such an emotional experience that I feel so lucky to have him as my husband. He truly is an example for me, such a  fighter…

In this almost four months since we went to the cancer center, we have met so many people and we were the first ones of of arriving there and the last ones to leave and in all of those days we never, ever saw - not even one person - doing the same regimen that he was doing…

Having an eleven cm tumor and two 4cm tumors in the lymph nodes is a pretty scary thing but today we got to go to the Cancer center and they gave us the wonderful news that Andy’s tumor markers levels are way down, he started at 8000 when the normal is 0 to 8, last time they checked he was at 900 and today he is at 32!! Still higher than where they want him to be, but his body is responding so good that we are just enjoying this moment. They are going to test him once a week because the Doctor said that even that he is done with the treatments the levels will continue to go down because all of the chemo that is still in his body.  It will still take some time for him to feel back to normal. After this they are going to check him once a week and see how the tumor markers are doing and then after that he will have another PET scan to see if the tumor is smaller than 3cm and also to see if there are not active cells of cancer…

Whatever the future holds whatever is next, we are so excited this experience has been one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to us.  I  feel so lucky and so blessed for the opportunity that I had to live this and to become a better person… I still remember on the last day of the year 2013 I was complaining and saying that I was not ready and that I couldn’t wait until the end of March and now I am here and I can tell you how lucky I am.  I have became closer to my husband.  He truly is an amazing man and he is my best friend.  we have had the chance to spent to much time together.  We have talked more than we ever talked before, we laughed and cried together, we had the chance to have tons of dates at the cancer center J  We got the opportunity to feel the Spirit on a daily basis.  We have felt and feel so close to our Heavenly Father that I swear I would do it all over again…

I learned so many things in the past few months.  I had the chance to get closer to my extended family and I learned that to love someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything that they do or say.  You just love someone for who they are. I also gave myself the opportunity to forgive and to ask of forgiveness, I am still not perfect but I do see myself both before Andy’s Cancer and after. I learned to appreciate my family more than ever before, the love of my sister, my dad, my mom and my brother.  They never left me not even for a minute- always there.  Everything was good, if I had a complaint, it would be all of those new wrinkles that I have around my eyes now.  LOL

I have recorded what I could get of his last week of chemo and I am so glad that I did. I put this small video together and I went back today and watched it.  I hope my kids, one day, can go back and see how much their daddy loves them - enough to fight against this Cancer thing, enough to always have a smile for them…   When I was watching this video I kept laughing because if you don’t know Andy, you are going to say, "man, he is grumpy he is always mad."  But Andy is such a sarcastic person, every single comment that he made, made me laugh because I know he says it in a sarcastic way and I love it…

Today is my birthday, I am 31, my little boy was asking me what I wanted for my birthday and I said that all I want was to spend the day with you, your sister and daddy.  That’s truly all I want.. and it has been amazing.  I woke up and Skyped with my mom and sister while my kids and Andy sang happy birthday in Spanish to me ( las mananitas).  And even though Andy was so tired and feels so sick, he woke up at 6am to make breakfast for me.  He wrote me a note that  I will treasure forever, as I told him this has been the best birthday of my life… I am a lucky woman!

I love my husband and I hope that when you see this video you can feel and see how much this guy suffered.  He fell a few times and he always got up, and the most important thing he never gave    up and he never will.

Here is the link in case you can't open it from here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6Y9OXschX0

Bake sale and boutique Fundraiser for Andy Moss. Saturday March 29th

We are so excited and relieved that Andy’s chemo treatments are finished… at least for the next 6 weeks until the doctors decide what the next step for him is. We have been so blessed by amazing family and friend support, as well as support from kind and loving strangers. We feel of your love and prayers and want to thank you for everything you are doing to help us.

We know many of you have supported events in the past for us and we wanted to let you know of another amazing event that will help us meet the demands of our medical bills and life expenses. 

 On Saturday, March 29 from 9-12 at 650 S Cooper Rd there will be a bake sale and boutique. Homemade food will be on sale as well as smoked pulled pork that must be pre-ordered by Mar 26 (2 lbs for $18). 
  If you are able to donate any baked goods or homemade crafts, please contact Liz @ 480-202-0643. If you are able to come and support us on March 29th, we would be so grateful.

Sunday before chemo...

Here I am. A day like today 3 months ago, my life was completely normal. I remember exactly what I was doing 3 months ago. My routine was working at the elementary school in the morning, going to the gym, doing photography and being a stay home mom, and in one second my life totally changed. 100 %. I am not sad or mad about this, I am actually happy with the 3 last months. Everything has been so fast, I don’t even know when the time went. For me, this has been just few days, not that I am used to our situation but it doesn't seem like that tragedy 3 months ago.

 But even though this has been fast, I feel like I am barely making it. I promise I am not complaining but at this point of my life I just feel like my body and my mind are about to be done... It has been such a rollercoaster of emotions. As some of you know, Andy was supposed to start chemotherapy, what we hope will be his last round. Last Monday, we got to the cancer center and the nurse told him that he couldn't start because his red cell count (hemoglobin) was too low, so he needed to get a blood transfusion.

 I was so scared about that, I just couldn't process the idea of having someone else blood in his body, I have heard about horrible stories and I was freaking out, but we didn't have any other option, so he did it. He was hooked up for 5 hours getting blood and after that we came home. They did another blood test and the day after (Wednesday) he was able to start chemo again. He told me, “I can't believe I am excited to start chemo!” and I was so excited too. Four exhausting rounds of chemo are about to be over, we hope. He started chemo and it was so awesome to go back to the cancer center. He has made so many friends there and the love that we feel there is so amazing. Nurses know him, the office people know him, the social workers, the patients, etc. You will always see someone there that became Andy's friend or mine So because of him starting late he won’t be done until next Tuesday. This weekend has been a hard one, not as bad as the other ones but Andy is so tired.

He has nausea and he was getting dehydrated so they sent a home care nurse to teach me how to put all the meds in his PIC line. My mom is a doctor in Mexico and I remember her on daily basis trying to make me help her or get involved in that field. I never liked it. I always passed out but here I am being a nurse for him and its actually not that bad. I actually like it now and I am getting used to flushing his PIC line and all those things that they are having me do for him. I also have to recognized two important and amazing people in my life.

This chemo week is always hard, especially for my kids. I am leaving them all of the time, they can't be loud and crazy and they miss their daddy so much. But seriously my sister and my dad( he came to help again from Mexico) have been helping me a lot. I see how my kids see my sister as their mom and it makes me feel so safe and so happy to know that even if I am not there, they are feeling love from someone. I love you Jona!

And my dad, what can I say? He is an amazing man. I am so grateful for everything that he is doing of me and my family. I see him taking my kids to the park every day, feeding them, playing with them and they love him so much. One of my favorite things is to come home after chemo and see Mia’s hair and he asks me, “Did I do good today with her hair?” And I say, “Yes she looks so cute!” But the truth is that Mia’s pig tails are one up and one down and the line behind her hair is totally a mess but the fact that he tries to do her hair just melts my heart. Today I couldn't go to church because the home care nurse came to make sure I knew what I was doing with Andy's hydration bag and PIC line

But even when I couldn't go, I had such a spiritual Sunday. As some of you know some friends of our family, the Laparra's, had a horrible accident. Laura was walking to serve at the Gilbert Temple and a car ran over her. She was in ICU for weeks and she was so so sick. Her husband, Gilberto, is one of Andy's friends and he came to visit him today.

We haven't seen Gilberto since before the accident and having him here was so emotional. I wish I had record it everything that he said to us because his testimony really touched m.. Talking with him, he said that he knew that Heavenly Father has a plan for Laura and for Andy. He said that he was so afraid and the test of his faith was hard, he wanted to get a confirmation on his own. He wanted to know that Laura was going to be okay but it took him days to really feel and get his answer that she was going to be okay. He said, “Andy, I never heard a voice. The Spirit never came and spoke to me. I never felt someone or something like that, but I felt my answer with all of the prayers. I felt Heavenly Father's love and answers with the love of people, with the help, with the texts, calls and all of the love that we felt from everyone, and yes I was afraid and yes I didn't believe that she was going to be okay but after I felt all that love, I knew. I got my answer and my confirmation that she was going to be okay. Heavenly Father truly knows what and why everything is happening to you and to Laura and He loves you. He loves your wife, He knows what she is going thru and He will never leave you. Make sure you guys write down everything that is happening to you guys so one day your kids, when they grow up and they have their own trials, can know and see how their parents went through this trial, how their parents were strong and had a testimony of Heavenly Father. Write everything down because this is the only way they will know how much you guys love each other. This experience is the most amazing thing that had happened to us because it got me closer to my wife, the love that we have for each other went to another level, the love that we have is stronger than anything and I know that you and Leyla feel the same way.”

My kids were in the same room, they were screaming and laughing and playing and even though they were so loud, I can tell you how much peace I felt in my heart. The Spirit was so strong in our house and I feel so blessed for the friends that we have. After that, I put my kids to bed and I went to visit Laura Laparra. As you know, I cry a lot. I am a very emotional person and when I saw Laura, I cried, not because I was sad but because I was so, so happy to see her. I couldn't believe it. I gave her a big hug and told her how excited I was to see that miracle, because that is what she is, a true miracle.

And after that I went and visited another friend Erika who was in the hospital very sick too, and she told me one thing that touched my heart, she said, “Andy's situation touched so many hearts, especially ours. Me and my husband were so touched for everything that is happening to him and I know that his situation is moving so many other hearts.” I came home and got everything ready for tomorrow; breakfast for Andy, his lunch, his medication, his clothes and everything that we need to go to the Cancer Center tomorrow. I was feeling so tired this morning, a little confused, a little done with everything but once again Heavenly Father sent me what I needed to hear and here I am, ready to keep fighting, ready to finish strong. I have been singing this song all day.

My sister, Jona, used to sing this song to me in times of trials, and every time I hear it, I think about her but today, I have been singing it and thinking about how much Heavenly Father loves me, loves Andy and He is telling me the same thing as this song. “Remember that I am here, remember that I am here for you, no matter what I will fight with you. If you are happy or sad, if you are afraid, remember that I am here for you.” It is in Spanish so I am sorry but if you speak Spanish you can cry with me LOL Thank you everyone for your prayers and your help and support.

Who Is Andy Moss.. life after December 16th 2013

I was going to wait to publish this video until Andy's birthday, it's not really a video, it is just a slide show with some pictures that I have from when we found out about Andy's cancer until the day of today... (you can see it at the end )
I can't believe it has been more than two months since we got the news. But I go back and I can describe myself like... Leyla before Andy cancer and Leyla after Andy's Cancer.
The first big sign of this is my new wrinkles, and the way I aged in the last two months. Haha! No, just kidding, well not kidding But u have to learn so much with this experience, and it is not over yet! But today I don't want to talk about me.. I want to talk about Andy Moss. And, who he is.
Andy Moss is a wonderful man, he really is, he is always thinking about others.
I remember after we got married we used to go back o Mexico twice a year. The first time we went back, he insisted that he needed to change some Mexican pesos, he didn't want to say why, but every time we were walking in the streets of Mexico, every time a homeless asked him for money, he had a little plastic bag ready with cash to give to the poor.
Andy did his mission in Veracruz Mexico. They say he was such a good missionary. He helped a lot of people to get baptized, he was a mission leader and everybody in Mexico loved him.
That's another quality about him, he makes people love him, everywhere he goes he makes friends. Everywhere he goes he makes people love him, even little kids.
We used to have a primary calling in our church. We actually were in the primary for 6 or 7 years, and in every single class that we had, he always had kids following him around. Really the kids never cared about me because all of the attention was always with Brother Moss..
Andy is a fighter. He always sets the goal in his head to be the best at everything that he does, no matter if it's sports (he plays baseball and soccer), he has to be the best. Same thing at work. Just an example is this last job that he got. A few weeks after he started, he was already one of the best .
He is so much fun. Omgsh, this is probably one of my favorite things about him. His sarcasm and jokes are the best. He can be so serious and then he says the funniest thing that can make you laugh non stop. I also used to find him sometimes doing backflips in the middle of the family room or going crazy on the trampoline with the kids!
Speaking about the kids, he is such an amazing dad, a really amazing dad! He loves his kids more than anything. Before this Cancer, he used to come home and took over with the kids. He helped me with them, getting them ready for bed, reading them books, always wrestling with David, always teaching him how to play sports, letting Mia paint his nails, singing songs with her, playing with her babies, coloring with them, jumping on the trampoline with them. Really, all of his afternoons were for my kids. No matter how good or bad his days were at work, he always had time and energy and always wanted to be with the kids.
He is one of the most romantic persons that I know. I remember we used to write notes to each other every single day for two years. He always made arrangements for our anniversaries and my birthday. He brought me a serenade, and flowers. He made surprise dinners for me. I remember one day, on Valentine's, he had dinner ready for me on his parents balcony with lights, flowers and he played a song for me in his guitar... he is so sweet and so loving.
He spoils me so much. He lets me be crazy and do my crazy stuff and he supports me with everything. Since I was around 5 years old I started being fan of this Latin singer, Gloria Trevi, omgsh I was crazy about her. One day, she came to Arizona, and I was pregnant with David. She was going to sign CDs, and I told Andy I needed to be the first one in line. He took me and he stood with me for 6 hours waiting for Gloria Trevi. Haha! When Gloria Trevi came, I started crying! Haha (weird)! He was so embarrassed! LOL! But he didn't say anything, he took a picture and he gave me a hug while I cried and cried. Haha! He always does anything to see me happy...
He is so spiritual. He is the kind of person that won't take a decision in his life before praying. Any small or big decision has to have a prayer before. I remember when we just got married I was new in the church and I wasn't used to praying as much as he does, and I always wanted to make crazy decisions fast and usually right at the moment. He always used to tell me, let's pray about it. At that point, it drove me crazy, but I learned the reason why, and now I am so grateful for his knowledge and obedience to listen to the spirit for every single step of his and our lives.
He is such an honest person, sometimes this drives me crazy too. Not that I am not honest, but man his honesty is perfect. It is amazing. From telling the cashier that she gave us more change than she was suppose to to give, to paying an honest tithe.
Heavenly Father is the most important thing in Andy's life and I admire this. His testimony about the Lord and his testimony about the church are something that I can't even explain with words... Probably some of you know that my dad has been pretty inactive in the church. He went back to the Catholic church and we all were okay with it. We thought he was never going to go back to the Lds church, and even that my heart hurt so much about this, I promised myself that I was going to love my dad no matter what, and I was not going to try to push him for any reason to go back to the church. I knew Heavenly Father was going to find the way to make this happen. But me and Andy prayed for months and months to have my family back, to see them enjoy life. 
When we found about Andy's cancer, my parents came to Arizona. They live in Mexico. They came to spend some time with us. I remember one night my mom stayed at my sister's house and my dad decided that he wanted to stay at our house. It was late at night when Andy, my dad, and I were sitting at the dinner table and my dad started talking about the church. He said, "Andy, I believe everything that you say and I want you to tell me why should I stop going to the catholic church. Tell me one thing that is going to make me go back and I will believe you." Andy said, "Juan, it is hard for me to give you one reason that it will make you go back to the church, but all that I can tell you is that I have a big testimony that the church is true. Juan, I know that Heavenly Father is watching over you, over your family, I know that he wants you to go back, but he is waiting for you to pray about it. You need to find your own answer, you need to pray about it. I can tell you that I know that we have a true prophet. I have a testimony that the prophet is here to guide us, to tell us how much our Father in Heaven loves you. And Juan, I know that the spirit will come back to you, to your life, you just need to pray about it. But I can tell you that I have a testimony that the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints is true." I was crying, I couldn't stop crying like a little kid. The spirit in that room was so strong that I could almost see it. My dad's face changed and a tear was coming from him. Oh how much I love my Andy and his big testimony, and his amazing spirit! After that day, my dad hasn't gone back to the catholic church, and he used to go to a mass every single day. Well he went back to the church, and he hasn't missed a meeting and I can already see the change in him.
Andy has been amazing for me, for my family, his faith is keeping me strong, his faith is bigger than anything, his faith is so strong that I reach out to it every time that I am about to fall...
When he found out that he had a big tumor, he went to the doctor by himself because we never imagined that this was going to happen. He called me on the phone, I was driving from work on my way to pick my daughter up at my sister's house. He said, "the doctors found something but I need you to get to Jona's (my sisters) house and I will call you when you are there." I knew something was wrong right then. He never makes me wait like this. I got to Jona's house and I was already having a panic attack. Finally, he called. I went to another room where my daughter couldn't hear me and he told me, that they found an 11 CM tumor and they wanted him to see a surgeon. He said, "hey, don't worry about it. I have this strong feeling that everything is going to be okay. I have to hang up because I am here still at the doctor's but please, don't cry. I feel that everything is going to be okay."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They just told him he has a huge tumor but he is okay? He is not panicking? He feels everything is going to be okay? I hung up and I went to my sister's front yard and I called my mom in Mexico. I was yelling and asking why. I was screaming on the phone. Than, I threw up right there, literally my knees dropped to the floor, and I was screaming and crying at the same time as my mom was. I don't wish this feeling to anyone. I felt that the world was ending right there. It was such a horrible sad feeling that just to remember it makes me cry. I tried to control myself and I went back home to meet Andy. He didn't go back to work, he came back to see me. We put Mia down for a nap and I started crying even more. He was so calm. He said, "let's pray about it.", We prayed, we hugged each other for probably more than an hour. He was so calm and I know everything was because he always gets his answers by praying and he really knew more than me... that everything was going to be okay...
Of course he has had his moments of doubt. Of course he is afraid sometimes. He is human. But, he amazes me with his strength. He amazes me with his faith, with his courage to fight against this monster.
I love him so much, he really is such a good person. He's an amazing dad and a loving husband...
PS If I have to say one bad thing about Andy, that would be that he NEVER answers his phone! Haha! Love you, Andy!